Broken Bridges
by Scribomaniac
Summary: The day Luke Skywalker brought the orphaned girl named Rey home, Ben Solo couldn't have cared less. Now, though, he'd fight the entire galaxy just to keep her by his side. (Now a string of one-shots as well)
1. Together We'll Be Legends

The day Luke Skywalker brought home the raggedy, scrap of a girl called Rey, Ben Solo couldn't have cared less. Why should he have? He was, after all, a thirteen year old boy. A Padawan. A Jedi Knight in training. A prodigal one at that. What interest would he have in an orphaned four year old child? So what if his uncle—no, _Master_ —Luke had claimed that she was strong in the Force? She was no one.

Then his uncle made the announcement that she was to be considered his daughter and given the name _Skywalker_. The name that Ben himself should have rights to, but instead bared the name Solo after his practically dead beat father. The rage that consumed Ben after this discovery was great. He tapped into his anger, used that emotion to manipulate the force and destroy everything around him. By the time his anger finally receded his room was in shambles. His bed was turned over, the frame split in two, all his books and knickknacks he'd been allowed to bring with him from home were scattered around the floor, and rubble from the now splintered ceiling dribbled down to the ground.

Ben's chest rose and fell rapidly and he had to pace back and forth for a good long while before his breathing evened out again. Sitting down on partially destroyed mattress, Ben ran a hand through his black curls, pushing them away from his face with a sigh. Now that anger had vacated his system, other emotions went to war inside him. Fear: what if this new girl was stronger than him? Disbelief: How could uncle— _Master_ Luke do this to him? How was this . . . this _nobody_ deserving of the Skywalker name? Insecurity: Why was he never good enough? Why couldn't anyone just choose him first for once? Why didn't anyone ever seem to put _him_ first?

All Ben felt he had was his uncle and his position in the Jedi Academy. His father was always off gallivanting across the galaxy, choosing adventure over his son. His mother was too busy with political meetings and allies to pay him any mind. She was the one who sent him here—banished him here—at the smallest sign of trouble. And now even his uncle _and_ Master was pushing him to the side. Why? _Why_ was he never good enough? What must he do to be someone's first priority?

" _You really want to know?_ " A weak and croaky voiced asked from the back of Ben's mind. Spine straightening, Ben looked wildly around his room trying to locate the source of the voice.

"Who said that?" He shouted at his supposedly empty room.

"Said what?" A different voice asked. This one was younger, stronger, and had a different accent. Nabooian, perhaps. Ben's head snapped to the open doorway of his room, this time successfully finding the source of this voice. It was the girl. The new member of his family. Rey.

She stood in his doorway, her posture open and defenseless, with her brows furrowed together in . . . was that concern? Ben couldn't tell for certain. "Why's it so messy?" She asked, her nose scrunching up with childlike disgust.

"Because I like it messy," he said harshly, not wanting to put up with her curious mind. Now that he saw her up close he could better understand his uncle's interest in her. The force was practically seeping off her body in waves. She'd become powerful given the proper training. Maybe even more powerful than himself. Anger flared up in his chest again at the thought. "What do you want?"

Rey stepped into the room, unfazed by his snarky demeanor, or perhaps just oblivious to it. Slowly, she walked closer to Ben and his broken bed, "Luke . . .father?" she rolled her eyes up, thinking, then shook her head an continued, "told me to come look for you. You're my cousin?" She looked so open, so hopeful, Ben's anger disappeared without him even realizing it.

"Yeah," he said softly, "I guess we are now."

Rey took a few more hesitant steps closer, her brows still furrowed. She stopped just before him and asked, "What _is_ a cousin?"

"You don't know?" Ben felt his eyebrows raise up high. So high he knew they disappeared behind his curly bangs. How could this girl not know what a cousin was? She was young, but not _that_ young.

Rye shook her head, eyes wide, "Nu-uh."

She was practically touching Ben now. He could feel her body heat radiating off her and onto him. Letting out a sigh, he extended his hand and invited her to sit on the decrepit mattress with him. Smiling brighter than the sun itself, Rey happily jumped onto the soft foam before sitting down next to him.

"It means we have parents who were siblings. My mother, Leia, is the sister of Luke, who's now your father." The words brought on a bitter taste in his mouth, but as soon as Rey made a small sound of understanding, he decided he could live with some bitterness. "You're a Skywalker now, you know," he continued, "that means you're destined for great things."

"Like what?" She asked, still wide eyed but looking more excited at the prospect of a destiny.

"Power. Skywalkers are strong with the Force. We inherit the gift from out grandfather, Anakin. He was the best and most powerful . . . Jedi," Ben had almost slipped and said Sith Lord, "ever. And as his descendants, his lineage, we have a duty to uphold the name."

"How?" She asked, her entire body facing his, a sure sign of her absolute attention on him and his words. Ben felt his chest flutter with warmth and a small smile tried to grace his lips.

"By becoming even more powerful, by learning the true ways of the Force."

"And Lu—father is going to teach us?"

"I will," Luke's voice sounded from the doorway. The two Padawans looked up, surprised by Luke's sudden presence. Ben cursed himself. He should have been paying more attention to his surroundings. His Master shouldn't have been able to sneak up on him like that. "Rey, why don't you go and explore the rest of the academy."

"Why?" she asked while scooting closer to Ben.

Luke gave her a tender smile, one that Ben would have begged to be directed his way, "I need to speak to Ben for a moment. Alone, please. Now, off you go," he waved his arm casually towards the rest of the building.

Puffing out her cheeks, Rey only hesitated a fraction of a second longer before standing up from the mattress and heading for the door. She gave Ben one last look, a small wave, and then was out of sight. Ben then turned his attention to his master, "Yes?" He asked petulantly, his lip curling up in a sneer. Now that Rey was gone, he could feel his anger flaring up in his chest again.

"You're angry," Luke said simply, but his tone was laced with disapproval, "Ben, you need to control your emotions. These bursts of rage you have will only bring you closer to the Dark Side."

" _What of it? What does the fool know about the Dark Side?_ " The ghost voice returned in Ben's mind. " _He underestimates its power,_ " the voice told him. " _And because of that he is_ weak _!_ "

"You know nothing about the Dark Side," Ben repeated the voice aloud.

Luke's eyes widened and for a moment he is at a loss for words, then he nods his head to the room and said, "I know the havoc it can cause. And this is only the result of a young, impetuous Padawan."

Ben continued to sneer at him, in no mood for his uncle's preaching at the moment. Standing up, he brushed past Luke without another word and headed for the door. "Be kind to her, Ben," Luke said to his back.

"Who?" Ben asked. He knew who, but he wanted the confirmation.

"Rey. She's like a beacon of hope for the Light Side. I'd hate for anyone to try and diminish that light."

"Don't worry about your precious new daughter," Ben spat out, " _I_ won't be the one to diminish her." Without another word, he's storming out of his room, leaving his mess and uncle behind. Ben made it all the way out of the Academy dormitory before he felt her presence. Turning to his left, he saw Rey sitting on one of the step overlooking the training grounds. Although she hadn't gone through much training yet, Rey sensed Ben's presence. Her shoulders straightened and her head whipped around to find him starring at her.

Giving him another dazzling smile, Rey stood up and skipped over to him, "Want to play with me?"

For half a heartbeat, Ben was tempted to say no. No, he didn't want to play with her, but that bitter response of his died before it even made it onto his tongue. A string in his chest pulled towards her, as if she was tugging it, and with a sigh, he gave her a small smile—which were becoming rarer and rarer these days—and said, "Sure." Rey's face lit up with excitement and happiness and she grasped his hand in both of hers and began to tug him down the stairs.

Years passed and not a day went by where the pair of cousins weren't bound by the hip. Leia and Han, whenever they made time to visit the Academy, found their relationship endearing. In fact, most people that saw them found it so. The only person that had reservations, or at least the only person Ben noticed, was Luke. Ben couldn't understand what his uncle's problem was. Rey was like a pacifying drug when it came to his emotions, and he helped Rey work on her relationship with the Force: something he was better at than even his all mighty master.

"Ben," Rey started suddenly, bringing him out of his thoughts. He'd thought she'd gone to sleep by now, but apparently that wasn't the case. He looked over at her, fidgeting from one foot to the other nervously in his doorway, holding on to the stuffed toy X-wing pilot he'd made for her last birthday in her arms.

"Rey? What are you doing out of bed?" Scooting over, he made space on his own bed for her and pulled down some of the covers. Seeing the invitation, she quickly shuffled over and burrowed down into his bed, her head disappearing below the blankets. "Rey? Rey, what's wrong?"

"I had a bad dream," her muffled voice told him.

Sighing, Ben rubbed her back through the blankets as soothingly as he could. Every now and then this would happen to Rey. She'd get a force dream of something that either happened in the past or was happening in the present or would happen in the future, and since she still hadn't gotten a proper handle on shielding her mind when she slept, she had no way of defending her mind from such dreams. Reaching out tentatively with his mind, he prodded her own psyche with the Force and silently asked what the dream was about.

" _I dreamt that I was alone,_ " her mind responded, then flooded his own with images from the dream. She was in the desert with not another living soul in sight and no idea how she got there or how to get home.

Humming under his breath, Ben tried to sooth her by sending her images of her family. Of Luke, Leia, Han and himself with her and promising they'd always be together. He heard a small sniffle and knew that although the images were helping, Rey was still shaken up about the dream. "Hey," he tried verbally again, "want me to tell you a story?"

That got her attention. The top of her head peaked out from the blankets, "What story?"

"How 'bout one about our grandfather?"

Rey made a face halfway between intrigue and exasperation, " _All_ your stories are about grandfather!"

Laughing, he agreed, "True, but that's only because he's a legend." He told her before beginning Rey's favorite story of how Anakin fell in love with their grandmother, Padme, and how they kept their love a secret even though they were married. He was just about to go into the part where he turned on the Jedi order to protect her when Rey's voice pipped up.

"Do you think we'll ever be as strong as him?" Rey asked in a small voice, her small hand reaching out and holding onto his larger one. "That we'll be legends, too?"

Ben's breath stuttered to a stop, causing Rey to tighten her hold on his hand and probe into his mind. He pushed back affectionately, "Yes, Rey," he told her, "I believe the two of us will be just as powerful as him, and together even more legendary."

Smiling sleepily, but still as brightly as the day he met her, Rey snuggled up next to him and laid her head on his chest. "Night, night, Ben."

"Night, night, Rey."

"Love you," she mumbled into his shirt.

Chuckling at her drowsy words, he kissed her forehead, "Love you, too."

Readjusting himself on the bed, while making sure not to disturb Rey, Ben began to drift off to sleep with a small, tender smile on his face. He was just on the precipice of unconsciousness when he heard it. The voice. " _You'll never be as powerful as Darth Vader, not if you continue learning under Luke Skywalker,_ " it said derisively. Ben's body tensed and his body jerked back awake. Rey made a small noise of annoyance, but didn't wake.

" _I could teach you, though_ ," it continued, " _I could make you great, greater than even Darth Vader._ "

The thought tempted him. It tempted him so much Ben had to bite down on his bottom lip to keep from screaming yes. Rey moved again, trying to get into a more comfortable position, and all of a sudden he felt grounded again. He didn't need to be greater than Vader, not when he had Rey. He meant what he said, they'd be greater together.

" _And if you're not together?_ " The voice pressed. Instincts flaring up, Ben pulled Rey tighter to his side, making the voice chuckle. " _I mean no harm, Ben Solo._ " Ben didn't have time to wonder how the voice knew his name, " _I only refer to the youngling's dream. Ending up on a desert planet_ all alone _. Without you, her protector, by her side. It was a prophetic dream, you know it to be true. And only if you're strong enough will you be able to save her from that fate._ "

"It won't happen. I won't let it." Ben promised the voice fiercely.

The voice merely laugh again, " _We shall see._ " And then it was gone. Panting heavily now, images of Rey being torn from his side flooding his thoughts, Ben tried to calm his mind through meditation, but that only seemed to increase his panic.

Ben didn't know what to do. He felt overwhelmed by the thought of being alone again and couldn't stand it. The thought made his emotions go to war and soon felt the bed shake with the power of the Force. Rey mumbled in her sleep, disrupted by the shaking, and as quickly as he could, Ben pulled himself out of Rey's embrace and headed out of his room. He barely knew where his feet were taking him, all he knew was he needed help. Badly.

He finally stopped in front of another door, one which his mother slept behind. That surprised him. He hadn't gone to his mother for help or advice in years, not since before the Academy, but he supposed old habits die hard. Knocking three times, Ben tried once more to calm himself, but still to no avail. The door slid open and he came face to face with his mother. "Ben?" She asked, just as surprised as him. "Ben, are you okay?"

Gulping, Ben shook his head. He didn't trust his voice not to crack. Leia stepped aside to let her son in the room. Ben began to pace while Leia watched. "Ben," she started, uncertain, she knew he was conflicted about something, her basic relationship with the force told her that, but it didn't tell her what he was conflicted about, "is this about your father?"

"What?" Ben asked sharply, stopping his pacing.

"Oh, Ben, you know he wanted to be here for your birthday tomorrow, but you know how he is," she said with a fond roll of the eyes, "he got caught up with Lando in some scheme or bet of theirs. He'll make it up to you, dear. I promise."

"What?" Ben asked again, having completely forgotten that his birthday was tomorrow, or that he was supposed to feel sad that his father couldn't make it again. Honestly, he just felt tired whenever he thought of Han Solo these days. Shaking his head, he continued, "No, no, mother. Please, this isn't about father. I need _help_. Rey's had a dream—a prophetic one—and then—"

"Ben," Leia cut him off sternly, "if this has something to do with the Force you should really be speaking to Luke about it."

"But, _mother_ ," he persisted, "I need _help_ —"

"And only Luke can help you with this," she told him as she began to usher him out of the room. "There's only so much about the force I understand, dear. Really, your uncle will be much more help. I promise." Giving him one of her best political smiles, she kissed him on the forehead and nudged him on his way.

Groaning and running his fingers through his hair, Ben remembered why he no longer went to his mother for help. He never got any. She always deferred to Luke, never believing that she could help him even though she herself was one of the most powerful Force sensitive people in the galaxy. Pushing his annoyance at his mother away for the time being, he hurried down the hallway to his uncle's room.

Knocking three times on Luke's door, Ben found himself wound tighter than C-3PO when something was going against protocol. After what felt like a century, the door slid open and Ben found himself starring into his uncle's eyes. "Uncle Luke," he started, but stopped himself when he saw Luke's look of reproach. Hissing with frustration, he started again, " _Master_ Luke, may I come in?"

Luke stared at Ben for a few moments, taking in the chaos that were his emotions, before nodding and stepping aside. "How might I help you, Ben?"

"Rey just had a vision—"

"A vision?" Luke repeated.

"Yes," Ben huffed, "a vision, where she was left all alone on some desert planet, and—"

"Are you sure she didn't just have a nightmare?" Luke titled his head, "Being alone is a fear of hers, after all. And she knows to come with me if she has a vision." He seemed to make up his mind, "She goes to you for nightmares."

"It was a vision!" Ben half shouted, frantic now. Why wouldn't anyone listen to him? "She had a vision, then after I got her back to sleep, I heard a voice."

"A voice?" Ben was beginning to worry his uncle had been replaced with some mimicking droid, but the intense look in his eye convinced him otherwise.

" _Yes_ ," Ben stressed. "Some crusty old voice that was trying to tempt me—"

"Ben," Luke cut off, "When did you hear this voice?"

"Right as I was falling asleep, but—"

"Falling asleep?" Luke shook his head, almost well humoredly. "Ben, you're almost sixteen now, surely you should know the difference between reality and the world of dreams by now shouldn't you?"

"It wasn't a dream!" Ben did shout this time and took a menacing step towards Luke, "It wasn't the first time I've heard this voice, either! It pops up in my mind, telling me things, trying to persuade me to do things and I _can't_ —"

"You can't?" Luke asked suspiciously, "You can't _what_ , Ben?"

" _See how he treats you?_ " The voice goaded, " _Like something vile, something untrustworthy. Something to fear. He'll want you far away from his precious daughter. He won't want you to come near her, so you can't . . . diminish her light with your darkness._ "

Ben stopped short, his breathing still shaky, and although just a moment ago his blood was burning with anxiety, he now felt terribly cold. What if the voice was right? What if Luke did try to take Rey away from him? She had become such a staple in his life, he couldn't imagine even a day without her. It'd be pure torture. No, better to not say anything more about the voice.

"Nothing, I—" he paused to gain his thoughts and suddenly his mouth felt too dry to speak. Licking his lips and then swallowing loudly, Ben continued, "You're right, uncle—Master Luke . . . I wasn't—this was all—I just had a bad dream. I'm sorry for disturbing you so late."

Luke's lips pursued and he stared at Ben for a long moment, analyzing him with the Force. Not wanting to stick around any longer, Ben swiftly escaped Luke's mistrustful gaze and returned to his room.

" _Wise choice,_ " the voice praised.

"Shut up!" Ben yelled, hands flying to grasp at his head. Tears blurred his vision. What was happening to him? It felt like he was losing his mind.

"Ben?" Rey's small, tired voice sounded from the bed. After some rustling in the blankets, her head popped up and she blinked slowly at him. "Ben? What's wrong?" She asked, tilting her head to the side. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Ben's eyes flickered up, then away from Rey, not wanting her to see the discord he felt within himself. Taking in several deep breaths, he tried to calm himself down. He needed to stop the tremor in his hands, he couldn't let her see him this way. He was fifteen, for Force sake! He should have more control over himself!

"Ben?" Rey asked again, this time much closer. She was practically touching him now. When had that happened? Ben felt the familiar push inside his mind, Rey's Force signature gently asking for entrance while simultaneously offering comfort. That was the final straw for Ben. He curled over onto himself and sobbed. Rey didn't know what to do, she'd never seen Ben so overwhelmed before. So she did the only thing she could think of and wrapped her arms around him and held on tight.

Slumping down to the ground, Ben pulled Rey into his lap and clutched on to his small cousin. He felt Rey prod at his mind again and he tentatively let her in. He didn't give her full access—he'd never tell her about the voice—but she could feel what he felt, and who made him feel this way. Ben couldn't believe how strong Rey was. She was only seven years old and yet intuitive enough to understand how to help Ben. Focusing on her, Ben was able to calm himself long enough to carry her back towards the bed.

"It's time to go to sleep, little one," he sniffled.

Rey looked up to him, concern evident in her eyes, "Are you feeling better Ben?"

Letting out a wet laugh, he answered honestly, "Not really." Her lip wobbled and he continued, "I'm sure I'll be better in the morning."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay," Rey said quietly before snuggling closer to Ben, "G'night, Ben. I love you."

"I love you, too, Rey."

The following weeks led Ben into a false sense of security. For once, everything in his life felt right and he felt whole. His mother stuck around the Academy for his father's arrival, and even afterwards they stayed for longer than Ben thought they would. He assumed it was because Han felt bad for missing his birthday— _again_ —but for once he didn't feel bothered or annoyed by that knowledge. He was happy enough just spending time with his family while training with Luke and Rey.

Rey was amazing. She could charm her way into anyone's heart if they gave her one second of their time. She had Han and Chewbacca eating out of the palm of her hand within the first day of their original meeting and every time after that their adoration just grew. Chewy absolutely adored her, almost as much as Ben did, and loved to carry her around on his back like some Wookie cub while Han took her on test drives on the Millennium Falcon and even took time showing her how to drive and operate the legendary ship.

Currently Chewy was 'rough housing' with Rey, throwing her over his shoulder and high up into the air, even though she was supposed to be practicing her meditation. Her screams and squeals of delight echoed throughout the training grounds and Ben couldn't wipe the smile from his lips even if he tried with all his might. He remembered when Chewy used to play with him like that, back before he was sent to the Jedi Academy . . . and just like that a strong sense of sadness washed over him.

Rey stopped her shrieks of happiness and approached Ben, her mind effortless melding into his own, trying to make him feel happy again. She was breathing hard from playing so hard and she still had a smile stretched wide on her lips as she held out her hand to him, "Come on, Ben! Play with us!"

His hand had just grasped onto hers when he felt Luke's presence behind them, "Rey, dear," he called out. Ben twisted around so he could see his uncle properly. "Come with me," he held out his hand, waiting for her to come to him.

Rey looked confused for a moment, her eyes flickering between Luke's outstretched hand and the one she was currently holding on to, "Why?" She asked.

"Because you should be practicing your meditation, not playing with Chewy and your cousin," he told her, but Ben had noticed something peculiar. Although he was speaking to Rey, he hadn't taken his eyes off of Ben. Ben even thought he saw a calculative glinting behind his uncle's eyes, but before he could use the Force to verify his suspicion, the glint was gone and Luke's attention was now honed in on his daughter. "Rey," he called again.

Rey's fingers tightened on Ben's and he could see her jaw setting with defiance. Reading the signs, Ben tugged at her hand and pulled her attention to him, "It's okay, Rey. Go on and practice with Master Luke." He gave her a sad smile. He didn't want her to go, but also knew that Rey throwing a tantrum at her father and Jedi Master wouldn't be the wisest choice.

Sensing the return of Ben's melancholy, Rey shook her head defiantly at her father and squeezed Ben's hand even harder, "No! I don't want to! I want to stay with Ben! We're having _fun_!" She even gave a little stomp of her foot. The force, which was so strong and still so wild within her, lashed out and caused the ground beneath them to shake.

"Rey," Luke said sharply, not in the mood to deal with his daughter's tantrum. His eyes flashed wildly, almost panicky, and he walked closer and roughly ripped their hand apart and picked Rey up and began to walk away. "If you refuse to listen to me," he said around her flailing limbs, "when I call you away from your cousin, then I'll have to separate you as punishment."

Luke finally placed Rey in a relatively safe hold over his shoulder and turned to Ben, "I'm sorry, Ben, but it looks like Rey will need some time away from you to get her emotions under control. This is not," he pinned down her legs to his chest after a close call to his face, "the way of the Jedi."

With no more to say, he walked away with a still roaring and flailing Rey over his shoulder. Chewy moaned sadly before waving his goodbyes and walking off towards the location of the Millennium Falcon. Ben hardly noticed he'd left, his eyes still trained on Luke and Rey's retreating forms. Anger flared up in his chest. They were just having fun, as Rey said. Why couldn't they just have some fun? Why wouldn't Luke allow them to be happy? He never chastised any of the other Padawans about skiving off their lessons. Why was he always picking on them?

Picking up his practice lightsaber, Ben began hacking at anything in reach. The nearby trees, the ground around him, and especially the training droid—meant to serve as an opponent—were destroyed within mere moments, but still Ben felt the rage in his chest like a fire or volcanic lava. He wondered if this was how his grandfather felt whenever someone tried to take away _his_ happiness. He would never have stood for it, of that Ben was sure.

" _He is scared,_ " the voice spoke up, curling into his mind like a hazy smoke, " _Scared of your power. He knows your power is even greater than his and he fears of what you will do with that power._ "

"Wh—what?" Ben asked quietly, looking around the clearing, not for the speaker, but in case anyone else was around to hear him, Ben, respond.

" _He fears you have too much Vader in you. You've seen it in his eyes. The panic. He thinks of you as a threat, a harmful influence. Especially on his daughter._ "

Memories of himself using the force in his anger to destroy came to mind, followed by the more recent one of Rey using her own anger to cause a small earthquake. " _See? She's already begun to feel the anger, the power of the Dark Side. Just as you have. Luke will do anything to stop it—stop you._ "

"What do you mean?" Ben asked warily, knowing the answer would be something terrible.

" _He'll try to separate you from her. He'll rip you from her side and she'll be left all alone, same as you. With no one to turn to for love,_ " his mind flashed to Rey, " _for compassion_ ," his mother now, " _not even understanding,_ " finally, Luke's face appeared at the forefront of his mind, followed by the memory of his disregard for Ben when he came to him that night not too long ago.

" _But I can help you. I can save you—the both of you. All you have to do is ask._ "

Ben barely hesitated, "What must I do?"

" _Become my apprentice,_ " the voice hissed happily.

"What should I call you, then . . . Master?"

" _Snoke_ ," the voice replied, " _You may call me Snoke._ "

"Yes, Master Snoke."

The night had finally arrived. After months and months of careful planning, a few sleepless nights, this was the night that Ben would finally free himself and Rey. He could feel the anger burning beneath his veins, screaming to be unleashed. His new lightsaber crackled to life in his hand as he led his fellow Knights of Ren towards the Academy's dormitory. The lightsaber was crude, to be sure, but he'd needed one—a real one, not one of those smaller, training ones Luke passed out like candy—and he'd learn how to better forge one in the future, with Rey by his side. And once he killed Luke, that traitor, he'd take his lightsaber for himself. It wasn't even his, Ben thought angrily, it was Darth Vader's and deserved to be wielded by someone stronger than the cowardly Luke Skywalker.

Screams soon rang out, echoing in the darkness that surrounded the Knights. Ben paid their terror no mind, though. The other Knights were tasked with taking care of the Padawans while Ben—no, _Kylo Ren_ now, the _first_ Knight of Ren—was on a mission to find Luke. Originally, he'd wanted to seek out Rey. He wanted to find Rey, bring her under his protection, and _then_ destroy his former uncle, but he couldn't feel Rey _anywhere_. It never took him this long to sense her before. They had been so in tuned with each other's Force signatures and minds that they barely even had to think about it when searching for one another. Now, though, he couldn't even feel a scrap of her on the planet. There were only two reasons why that could be the case. It made him panic, and his panic fueled his anger. So Kylo Ren channeled that anger and fear and hunted down Luke Skywalker with a vengeance.

Kylo Ren found Luke with a handful of young Padawans trying to escape onto an old cruiser ship that was stationed on the Academy's landing strip in hopes of escaping the raid. With such power only the Dark Side could give him, Kylo Ren Force Pushed the ship, along with three of the Padawans, off the strip and down to the watery cliff side. Wasting no time, he continued his attack by rushing the remaining two Padawans with his lightsaber. Luke activated his own and intercepted the strike.

"Ben!" He screamed, "Why are you doing this?"

"Ben is dead!" Kylo screamed back, parrying Luke's lightsaber and engaging him again. Luke was so busy concentrating on getting through to his nephew that he didn't notice the rest of the Knights of Ren closing in and taking fire on the Padawans until it was too late.

"No! No!" He howled, running over to one of the youngling's body and holding it close to his chest. "Ben, how could you? Why are you doing this?" Luke paid no heed to the surrounding enemies or the many blasters aimed on his person.

"You know why," Kylo Ren responded evenly. "Where is she?" He lifted his lightsaber and held it just beneath Luke's chin. A strange sense of satisfaction filled his chest when he saw the crackling heat of his lightsaber burn part of Luke's beard.

"Rey?" Luke asked, momentarily lost. "You did all this for Rey? Ben, you know she wouldn't have wanted this. Please!"

"You know nothing!" Kylo Ren spat, "She wants to be with me, but you wouldn't let her! You wanted to separate us! You wanted to take away our happiness. You feared what we'd become together!"

"Yes," Luke agreed slowly, startling Kylo Ren. "Yes, I feared what you'd become. I saw it in you . . . the Dark Side. It's trying to consume you, Ben, can't you see that?"

"All I see is a pathetic excuse for a Jedi," Kylo Ren quipped. "Now, _where is she_?" He tipped his lightsaber closer to Luke's face.

"Safe from you," he told him, a strong resolution building in his eyes. "You're right, Ben, I saw what was happening to you, and I knew what would happen to Rey if you two continued on as you were, so I did what I had to."

" _What did you do?_ " Kylo Ren shouted, his muscles tensing with fear and rage, " _Where is she?_ "

"Somewhere you'll never find her!" Luke said in a deathly calm voice, then without any warning, he turned his head sharply to the left and Force Pulled several of the Knights into one another, creating a domino effect. Several blasters went off and chaos reigned over the landing strip for a few minutes. Kylo Ren had been knocked off his feet by three other Knights and by the time he regathered his bearings and his feet, Luke was gone along with his old X-Wing fighter.

Breathing heavily, Kylo Ren began slashing at everything and everyone in sight in his rage. He howled at the top of his lungs and eventually sank to his knees and began pounding his fists on the ground as images of Rey all alone on some desert planet flooded his psyche. Luke Skywalker was wrong! Kylo Ren would find Rey. He'd search to the end of the galaxy for her. Yes, he thought as his breathing settled and his anger turned into a fierce determination, he'd find Rey. No matter what the cost.


	2. An Aftertaste Like Grains of Sand

It was supposed to be temporary. At least, that's what Luke kept telling himself as he piloted the cruiser ship to Jakku with Rey, his seven year old daughter, asleep in the co-pilot chair. She'd been so excited at the prospect of seeing a new planet, of seeing the stars, and practicing her piloting skills. Even though she wasn't a Skywalker by blood, she sure picked up the skills the family was known for easily enough. It even made some people doubt whether or not she was actually adopted or Luke's accidental offspring that he was too ashamed to own up to.

Looking over at his daughter, he felt a twinge of guilt flare up in his heart followed by a spike of fear that struck down his spine. He didn't want to do this. He didn't want to be separated from Rey, but it was for her own good, especially if what he'd been sensing in the Force was right. He'd sensed a disturbance lately, sensed that the Dark Side was growing stronger again and would strike soon. If Luke was being honest with himself, he worried that the Dark Side would once again rise up in the form of a Skywalker, and that it was his own nephew, Ben, that was in danger of turning from the Light. The thought terrified him. Hopefully he'd have time to properly assess the situation, and pull Ben back from the brink, once he returned to Lothal.

Luke feared what would happen if Ben turned to the Dark Side. Not only for his, Ben's, sake, but for Rey's as well. It was the reason behind this journey, after all. They had grown so attached to one another, so dependent. Too dependent, really. It'd been worrying Luke for some time now. They hated being apart from one another for more than a day. It was a wonder that he'd even been able to persuade Rey to come along on the trip. Then again, Ben had been gone from the Academy for almost a whole Lothalian day already—something about going on a meditative retreat—so maybe the situation wasn't as dire as Luke feared.

Better to be safe than sorry, though. If Ben _was_ to fall to the Dark Side, Luke didn't want Rey falling along with him. She was too good, too pure, too Light. The fall would destroy her. So Luke took Rey off Lothal and flew off to one of the most overlooked and remote planets in the galaxy. He planned on leaving her there— _hiding_ her there—for a few days—weeks, maybe—at most. Just until he got everything under control.

Soon their intended destination came into view and Luke reached over to wake his daughter. "Rey," he said softly and gently shook her shoulder, "Rey, dear, it's time to wake up."

Rey mumbled a bit before rubbing her eyes awake. After a few blinks, she noticed what was outside the ship and sprung to life. Readjusting so she was sitting on her knees, Rey began to bounce with undiluted excitement. "Is that it? Is that it?" She asked, rapidly turning her head between looking at the planet and her father.

Luke laughed, "Yes, Rey, that's it. That's Jakku." He flipped a few switches, turned a few knobs, and pressed a few buttons to engage the ship's autopilot. "Now come over here, dear," he patted to his lap, "I need to fix your hair."

Rey hopped off her own seat and jumped onto Luke's lap, situating herself so he'd have easy access to her hair. "Ben's gonna be so jealous!" She exclaimed, glancing at Jakku out of the corner of her eye. Luke merely hummed, and pulled out one of her buns and began to re-twist and tie it. "He's always talking about seeing other parts of the galaxy! He said grandfather saw a whole bunch a planets when he was a Jedi. That back then the Jedi used to be really, really spread out in the galaxy."

"That's true," Luke agreed, finishing with the second bun. Rey always wore three buns in her hair, ever since she came to live at the Jedi Academy three years ago. Leia was the one who gave the youngling her signature look. It was a simple style—for which Luke was forever thankful, considering how he was the one usually doing Rey's hair—that kept her hair out of her face when she trained with practice sabers and Luke suspected it was an homage to her, Leia's, hair style from way back when they first met on the Death Star.

"And Ben really, really wants to be like grandfather! He says he'll get strong, just like him, so that he can protect us. And that together, we'll be even more powerful!" Rey finished with a nod that almost undid all of Luke's efforts in tying the last bun.

"I'm sure Ben will be a very powerful Jedi, dear one, as will you," he squeezed her shoulders. "But what dangers does he need to protect you from?" He asked, curious.

"I don't know," Rey told him, her nose scrunching up in thought. "Bad guys, I guess," she decided with a shrug.

Shaking his head at her innocence, Luke picked her up and placed her back in the co-pilot seat, "Well I hope that works out for the two of you," he said off-handedly, "but in the meantime would you like to help me land this ship?"

Rey nodded vigorously and immediately set her attention to the task at hand. Luke guided her through the steps, telling her what to do and when to do it. Like most things, Rey picked it up like she'd been landing ships for centuries, and after a few minutes even began pre-empting Luke's instructions and completing them with no prompting at all. Landing just outside the Niima Outpost, Luke powered the ship down and asked, "Ready?"

"Yup!" Rey chirped and led their way out of the ship and down to the sand. "Whoa!" She exclaimed, bending over to pile some sand into her hands and watch as it seeped through the cracks. Laughing, she turned to her father and raised the still leaking sand up high for him to see. "Look, father! Isn't this amazing? I've never seen so much sand in my life!"

Smiling, Luke patted her on the head, "Yes, it has that in common with Tatooine. Now, hurry up, Rey, or we'll be late for our appointment."

Following immediately, Rey asked, "Do you miss it?"

"Miss what?"

"Tatooine? It's your home planet, right?"

"Sometimes," Luke said slowly. "I miss the people more, though," he told her sadly.

Feeling his melancholy through the Force, Rey pursued her lips and grabbed onto his hand, hoping that might cheer him up. Luke looked down at their hands and smiled, but to Rey he didn't seem any happier. If anything, he seemed even sadder. Assuming it was something adults claimed she'd 'understand later', Rey let the matter drop and focused instead on her legs which were walking awkwardly in the sand.

Luke squeezed his daughter's hand tightly as they approached the hut where Unkar Plutt doled out rations to the scavengers. The Blobfish gave them a suspicious stare, but with a nod of Luke's head, closed up shop and walked out to speak face to face. "What's the likes of you doing all the way out here, Jedi? Thought you were teaching some younglings," he gazed down at Rey and sneered. "What'd you bring one of them here for?"

"This is my daughter, Rey. Rey this ahh—man's name is Unkar Plutt. He'll be looking after you for a little while."

"What?" Rey asked, her brows furrowing with confusion. "Where are you going?"

Bending down so Luke was on eye level with her, he placed his hands on her shoulders, "I've got to take care of a few things, Rey, but I'll be back. _I promise_."

"No, No! Don't go!" She begged, panic shining bright behind her eyes.

"Rey," he tried again, "there's something important I've got to do, and I can't do it without knowing you're _safe_."

"What makes you think _I'll_ take care of her?" Unkar spat out, rubbing one of his chins with a meaty hand.

Standing back up and ignoring Rey's small cries, Luke waved his hand in front of Unkar's face, "You _will_ take care of Rey. You _will_ make sure she survives." Luke pulled out a small bag from the folds of his cloak and placed it into Unkar's hand. "That will be enough to cover her expenses for a year, Unkar, and believe me, she _will not_ be here that long."

Unkar repeated the instructions slowly. His eyes had glazed over and it took some time, and several blinks, before he seemed himself again. "Suit yourself, Jedi," he growled before waddling to the side. "Best get your goodbyes over and done with, then."

Luke pulled Rey to the side, bent down again and enveloped her in a hug, "Listen to me, Rey. I will return for you, I promise, but before then you have to be a good girl for me, okay? Be a good girl and wait for me. Be patient, and I promise I'll come back." Pulling back, Luke gave her a wobbly smile and wiped away some of her tears. He pressed his hand against the side of her cheek and felt his guilt rise up again with the knowledge of what he was about to do next.

"I'm sorry," he whispered before pushing into her mind and trapping away all her memories of the Jedi Academy, all memories of her training, all memories of the Force, everyone's names, even. Still, he couldn't take everything away from her, he just couldn't do it, so he left the stories. Stories that would be like a small seed of hope within her mind. He was crippling her, he knew, but he also knew how easy it would be for Ben to find her if her force signature was left unchecked. And what would be the point of taking Rey out here, of leaving her on this desolate planet all alone, if Ben could track her down as easily as he could find his own leg? It'd all be for naught, then.

Rey had screamed at first, drawing very little attention within the Jakku community, but had tapered off to whimpering after just a few seconds. "Shh, shh," Luke tried to comfort her by pulling her into another hug. "It'll all be okay. _I promise_."

Standing up again, Luke waved a hand before Unkar once more and said, "You will never speak to her about the Jedi."

"I will never speak to her about the Jedi," Unkar repeated slowly, then shook his head and placed a giant hand on Rey's small shoulder. "Well go on then," he jeered, "if you really are leaving her here, you'd better get to it."

Luke's breath caught in his chest, but he knew Unkar was right. He had to leave now or he never would. He'd undo all his planning and bring Rey home with him. Nodding once to steel himself, Luke turned and began to walk back to his ship.

"No!" He heard Rey scream behind him. His steps faltered. "No, _don't leave!_ "

"Be quiet, girl," Unkar snapped.

" _No! Come back!_ " She yelled again, but Luke had steeled his heart and continued on. His mouth was dry and grainy and his body felt sick, like some disease had invaded it, but he refused to stop moving. He made it all the way back to the cock pit of his ship, started it back up, and flew it into space before he realized he was crying, but by then it was too late to change his mind. What was done was done, and Luke could only hope that he was wrong about Ben and that the two of them would mend their broken bridge and return for Rey. Together.

 **A/N: Hope you enjoyed! Please review! I'm loving writing for this fandom rn so you can bet there will be more to come!**


	3. One Step at a Time

It was a beautiful day on Yavin 4 when Luke Skywalker landed on the planet, but the good weather only felt like salt to the wound. Luke could feel the turmoil in the Force. It was still reeling from the crimes Ben had committed and the sharp, painful memories that were seared in Luke's head scalded his mind once again, causing his muscles to tighten up and saliva to over flood his mouth. All those younglings . . . slaughtered. Luke felt the bile rise up in his throat, but he fought down the sickness. He had to tell Leia and Han what had happened on Lothal. What had happened to their son.

Exiting the ship he'd escaped on, Luke was suddenly overcome with gratefulness that Leia was also Force sensitive when he saw her running up to him, Han following closely behind. "Luke!" She called out, pulling his arm around her shoulder when she noticed how unsteady he was on his feet, "Luke, what happened?"

Luke merely shook his head, still too much in shock to speak. Han and Leia exchanged glances before Han grabbed Luke's other arm and the two of them towed him away from the landing paddock and towards their home. It took some time and much effort on Luke's part, but eventually they arrived at the Organa-Solo home and Luke wasted no time finding a chair to collapse in.

"Master Luke!" C-3PO exclaimed with as much delight as a droid could, "What a lovely surprise it is to see you again. I do hope all is well with the Academy. R2 was just mentioning the other day that we should visit Lothal and yourself. I'm afraid he's getting delusions of grandeur again. He keeps going on about how much you need him, but I keep trying to tell him that—"

"3PO," Han cut him off, "Shut up and get Luke something to drink, would ya?"

"Oh, of course! Where _are_ my manners?" C-3PO hurried off into the kitchen, mumbling to himself about needing a tune up on proper etiquette as he went.

"Luke," Leia said softly, bending down in front of her brother to try and engage him in eye contact. "What's happened?"

"Yeah, kid," Han added, "Leia all but passed out last night. What gives?"

Luke swallowed thickly, unsure where to start. Tears clouded his eyes. This was worse than when he discovered the truth about Darth Vader. So, so much worse. "It's Ben," he choked out. Leia sucked in a gasp, but didn't say anything. She waited for Luke to continue.

"What happened?" Han asked solemnly, not sure what to expect.

"He—he, oh Force, he killed them all," tremors wracked Luke's body and he wrapped his arms around his slim frame. "I couldn't stop him," he continued, "he's fallen to the Dark Side. The First Order—Knights of Ren—or something—" a hysterical laugh escaped his lips before he could stop it. "There were so many of them. I couldn't—I couldn't—"

"Luke, kid . . ." Han began, but didn't know what to say. His mind was still processing the information. "I don't understand," he said simply.

"Luke," Leia said, placing her hand on Luke's shoulders, "I need you to calm down. I need you to tell me everything that happened."

Looking into his sister's eyes, Luke told her. He explained that the Knights came in the middle of the night and attacked the Academy. He told her how he tried to save as many Padawans as he could, but that, in the end, he couldn't save anyone. He told her how Ben had been the one leading the ambush. How he must have turned to the Dark Side without Luke even noticing it.

"I've failed," he sobbed. "I've failed you all."

"No, Luke," Leia consoled, brushing away some tears, "it's not you that's failed."

Han grimaced and looked away from the siblings, scratching the back of his neck. Then, suddenly, his head snapped back and he asked, "What about Rey?"

Leia stopped breathing for a moment and waited for her brother's response. Luke shook his head, "She's safe. She wasn't on Lothal when the attack happened."

Some tension in the room lessened and Luke noticed the drink on the table next to him. C-3PO must have returned when he was explaining earlier without him noticing. Luke scorned himself, some Jedi he was. He didn't even sense the droid.

"Well then where is she?" Han continued, but Luke just shook his head again. " _Luke_ ," he said sharply, "Where is she?"

" _Where is she?_ " Ben's voice, so full of rage, echoed in Luke's mind and he recalled so clearly the desperation in his nephew's eyes.

"I can't," Luke whispered, broken.

"You can't what?" Leia asked, applying more pressure to her brother's shoulders. "Luke, tell me," she commanded again.

Unable to deny a direct command from the once Princess of Alderaan herself, Luke said, "I can't tell you. She's—she's safer where she is. Ben, he—he became _obsessed_ with her," he explained, "I had to hide her away."

"Where, Luke?" Han asked again, taking a threatening step forward.

"Somewhere _safe_ ," he repeated, "somewhere Ben can't find her."

"She'll be safe with us," Han pressed, looking to Leia for help. "Leia, tell him."

Leia barely had a chance to open her mouth, though, before Luke shouted, "Don't you understand? Ben will stop at nothing to track her down! I barely got her away in time! If I hadn't left her out there when I did, she'd—she'd be," he made an unintelligible noise. "I can't protect her from him! I couldn't protect any of them from him! She's better off on a desert wasteland than with me right now!"

"So what?" Han asked, "You've just abandoned her? You really think that's what's best for her? Maybe—maybe, I don't know—maybe she can bring Ben back. Maybe we can fix this." Han's eyes, which were so full of hope and desperation, silently begged Luke to tell him where Rey was hidden.

"No," Leia said, surprising both men in the room. "Rey can't help Ben, not now."

"What? How can you say that?"

"I can just feel it," she told him simply, silently begging him to understand.

Han's nostrils flared, "So what?" he asked again, "You want to just give up on Ben, then? On Rey?"

"No!" Leia shook her head violently, "Of course not, but we can't rely on a little girl to—"

"We also can't just leave that little girl to rot on some planet all by herself!" Han sneered. "And if you won't help me find her, then I'll do it myself!" He didn't wait for a response. Han turned heel and stormed out of his home, towards the landing paddock once more. "Chewie!" He called over his shoulder, knowing his friend and co-pilot wasn't far. After hearing Chewbacca's responding growl, he continued, "Hurry up! We're going on a trip!"

Han knew that leaving right now, when he was angry, wasn't the smartest move in the galaxy, but he couldn't stay in that house for another second. He needed to move, needed to do something. He couldn't just sit around and mope like Luke seemed so willing to do. He knew Leia was right. They couldn't rely on Rey to bring their son back to the Light Side, but that didn't mean he could sit back and leave her on some ' _desert waste planet_ ' when it was fully within his power to find her and bring her home. If nothing else, Han could do that.

Soon enough, Chewie and he were in the Millennium Falcon and taking off from Yavin 4. There were only so many desert planets—most were in the outer rim—that Rey could be on. Han knew he could rule Tatooine out. If Luke really did want to hide Rey, his home planet would've been too obvious a choice. They started with Anoat, followed by Anoth, then Geonosis, Nkllon, N'zoth—though Han hoped that Luke hadn't been desperate enough to leave Rey _there_ —before they finally reached Jakku.

"This place sure makes Tatooine look like an oasis, huh?" Han asked Chewie as they flew over what looked like a graveyard of ships from the days of the Empire. Chewie whined in response. "Yes, that's including the incident with Jabba," he rolled his eyes, "You ever gonna let me live that down?"

With a shake of his head, Chewie roared a negative.

"Great," Han said dryly, his lips twitching up with a hint of a smile. He had a good feeling about this place. If he didn't know any better, he'd say it was the Force making him feel that way. They landed the Millennium Falcon a few meters away from the city called Cratertown—if you could even call it a city—and walked towards the battered looking commune.

The two of them walked through the town, asking anyone and everyone about Rey. Most people didn't understand the language of the Wookiees, and seemed untrusting of Chewie's cries and size, but Han didn't let their suspicions deter him. He went to everyone asking about Rey, giving her physical description, age, and character. He didn't mention Luke or the Force though, just in case there were any First Order spies in the area.

By the time the sun began to set, Han was sure he'd seen and spoken to every villager in Cratertown—even the droids and younglings. Chewie moaned lowly, discouraged. "Hey," Han said stubbornly. "We're not done, yet. We still have a whole planet to scour for her. We've only just started." They started walking back to where they left the Falcon, "Maybe we should try that Outpost next? What was it called?"

Chewie roared.

"Niima, right. We'll check there next."

They walked a little father until they reached the spot they'd landed the Falcon and Han stepped dead in his tracks. "Chewie," he asked slowly "wasn't this where we left the Falcon?"

Looking left, then right, then spinning in a circle, Chewie nodded and roared with confusion as well. "Well _I_ didn't move it!" Han responded. He walked a bit farther until he saw the divots in the sand that the Falcon had left. Violently kicking at the mound of sand, Han yelled, "Dammit, someone stole her!" He began to kick more and more sand in his anger, unable to stop himself until he kicked a mound so hard he lost his balance and fell onto his back side.

"Dammit, dammit, _dammit!_ " Han cried out, looking up at the sky as if it was to blame for his rotten luck. Chewie walked over and sat next to him, putting an arm around Han's shoulders with a soft purr. "It _is_ my fault, buddy." Han said in a deprecating tone. "I should've been there for him more. I should've checked in on him. Instead I just . . . gave him up without as much as a fight, and now . . . _now_ I can't save anyone."

Han's head fell back down, his chin pressing painfully into his chest. "Dammit," he whispered again softly. Chewie cried out softly, unsure how to comfort his friend. He felt just as powerless, if not more so. The two friends stayed like that for the rest of the night, too emotionally exhausted to move. When the sun finally began to rise over the horizon, Chewie softly prodded Han with his clawed hand.

"No, buddy," Han said sadly. "How are we gonna find Rey now? We don't even have a ship."

Chewie roared angrily, shoving his friend down into the sand. Han turned over so he was lying on his back and stared up at the sky again. He mulled over Chewie's words for a few moments. Chewie cried out again, growing impatient. A small spark glinted in Han's eyes, "Yeah, yeah okay," he said slowly. Standing up, he brushed the sand off his clothes, "That's what we'll do Chewie. We'll steal back the Falcon, _then_ we'll find Rey."

Chewie roared with excitement and sprung up to his feet. The two friends walked back towards Cratertown with a renewed determination. They would take everything one step at a time. First find the Falcon, then Rey, then bring Ben back to their side. One step at a time. They could do that. Even if it was the last thing they did, they'd do it.

 **A/N: There's the next installment! Next will be a lovely angsty one in Kylo Ren's POV about his search for Rey. As always I hope you enjoyed and please leave a review!**


	4. Guiding Light in a Dark Corridor

Kylo Ren woke up from his slumber with a jolt that made his body jerk entirely off the bed and onto the cold, hard floor. His body was covered in a fine sheen of sweat and his chest felt like it was on fire. Running his fingers through his damp, curly locks, Kylo Ren closed his eyes and tried to remember the visions he'd dreamed. He'd seen Rey—god, how he missed her—alone on some desert planet, living in some obsolete AT-AT. This wasn't the first vision he'd had of her. No, for the past four years Ben had been seeing snippets of Rey's life.

Kylo Ren wasn't sure what Luke had done to her. Sensing Rey used to be as easy as breathing. He never had to think about it, he just always knew. He knew where she was, what she was thinking, how she was feeling. Now though, her side of their link was mute. At first he thought it was because she was off planet, and that was a factor in it, but even if she was off planet he should have been able to hear her thoughts. He should have been able to tap into the Force to communicate with her, even lightyears away. They'd never tried it before—they'd never had a real reason to—but Kylo Ren knew what the Force was capable of, especially the Dark Side. It should have amplified their bond, made it easier for them to share their thoughts.

Every single day since he'd attacked the Jedi Academy—since their separation—he'd tried to reach out to her. Sometimes it felt like he was walking down a dark corridor and no matter which way he looked he couldn't see a flicker of light to help guide his way. It was almost as if Rey, the Rey he knew, no longer existed. At the very least he knew she was still alive, the visions told him that much, but only just. Kylo Ren suspected he received these visions whenever Rey was in an especially dire situation. Sometimes they'd be accompanied with pangs of hunger, blisteringly dry mouths, or an all-encompassing loneliness that left tears in his eyes. And no matter how much he ate, how much he drank, nor how many people he surrounded himself with, the side effects wouldn't dissipate.

If only he knew where she was, Kylo Ren thought bitterly, then he could save her from all those awful experiences she had been subjected to—at the hands of her own father no less. Sucking in a sharp breath at the thought of Luke Skywalker, he dug his fingernails deep into his scalp. The next time Kylo Ren came face to face with his uncle, he'd make him pay for everything he'd put the two of them through.

" _Come to me, Kylo Ren,_ " Snoke's voice whispered into his mind.

Sighing and rubbing his face tiredly, Kylo Ren rolled over onto his stomach and pushed himself into a kneeling position on the floor, "What is it you need of me, Master?"

" _Come, and you shall find out,_ " the voice hissed impatiently.

Kylo Ren stood up, dressed, and exited his room. Supreme Leady Snoke and he had landed on the planet Bith almost a week ago to reassess several members and recruit new ones. Kylo Ren knew he should feel honored that Master Snoke chose him to accompany him on this venture. Snoke could have chosen any Knight of Ren to assist him, but he chose him. The First Knight of Ren, the best Knight of Ren. Still, Kylo Ren knew that this mission would only be delaying his search all that much longer.

Shaking his head violently, he tried to clear his mind of such thoughts. Snoke may have given his permission for Kylo Ren to search for Rey, but that didn't mean he approved of how obsessed Kylo Ren was with it. Kylo Ren knew the Supreme Leader of the First Order couldn't understand why he hadn't simply given up yet. It had been four years now, after all, but time meant nothing to Kylo Ren. He'd made a promise to Rey. He'd find her. No matter how long it took.

Kylo Ren walked into the meeting room and was mildly surprised that Snoke was not alone. Sure, he was usually surrounded by several guards, but Kylo Ren didn't count them. This new figure stood in front of Snoke's decrepit body with the stance of a practiced soldier. His red hair was a bit distracting, if Kylo was being perfectly honest, but he didn't let any of these emotions show on his face, nor did even glance at the stranger once he stood beside him in front of Snoke. Nodding, he greeted, "Master."

"Good," Snoke said slowly, almost as if it labored him to speak, "Kylo Ren, this is General Hux. He will be overseeing the construction of Starkiller Base." At this, Kylo Ren finally spared the General a glance and gave him his best unimpressed look. Hux seemed to take that as a declaration of war, and glared back at Kylo Ren. "I am sending you with him," Snoke continued, grabbing Kylo Ren's attention.

"But, Master, surely I could be of better use elsewhere—"

"No." Snoke cut him off immediately, "Your presence at Starkiller Base will be imperative, Kylo Ren. I need someone powerful—someone trustworthy—to ensure the safety of this project."

Kylo Ren felt torn. On one hand, his chest swelled with pride about the fact that his Master had chosen him for this important mission, but on the other hand, his throat tightened with anxiety. What did this mean for Rey? Would he still have time to search for her? Aware of Snoke's scrutinizing gaze, Kylo Ren swallowed his doubts, nodded, and said, "Of course, Master."

Snoke dismissed the two men and they walked out of the room together. Hux gave him one last withering glance, to which Kylo Ren responded with a predatory, tight lipped smile, before skulking off to complete some last minute tasks. Deciding not to return to his room—he wouldn't be getting any sleep, no matter how tired he was—he headed for the training rooms instead. Many Stormtroopers were already at work there and although none of them were wearing their regulation uniforms, it was obvious that was what they were.

Kylo Ren barely paid them any mind. To him, they were all just expendable cogs in the machine that was the First Order. He walked over to one of the private exercise rooms, meant for one on one practice or dispensing disciplinary actions, closed the sound proof door, and sat in the middle of the floor with the intent to mediate. His head had felt fuzzy since waking from his dream, and it felt almost as if there was more than one conscious currently occupying it. Breathing out steadily, Kylo Ren focused on tapping into the Force. He tried to clear away the static feed that was his thoughts by thinking of the simplest, purest thing in his life: Rey.

Their Force connection hummed to life, and Kylo Ren's mind was ripped away from his body and transported far, far away to another planet and into another life. It was like he was riding passenger inside someone else's head, and he knew without a fraction of a doubt that he was seeing through Rey's eyes. Heart jumping into his throat, Kylo Ren desperately tried to absorb as many details as he could. It looked as if Rey was in some sort of ship, but not the cock pit or passenger deck. She was really _in_ the ship. If Kylo Ren had to guess, he'd say she was by the ship's engines. Anger bubbled up, hot as lava, in his veins as he realized what was happening. She was scavenging!

Rey, surprised by the intrusion of someone else's feelings, lost her focus and, subsequently, her grip on the metal wall. With nothing supporting her body, she fell with no one—no one but Kylo Ren—to hear her screams of fright. Her body landed with a terrible crack on the ground and Rey's consciousness fell silent. In this state, Kylo Ren couldn't hold onto their connection and abruptly found himself back inside his own mind and body. Anger and fear rose up like a tidal wave inside him and with tears clouding his vision, he grabbed his pathetic excuse of a lightsaber and began to slash and thrust at anything within reach.

How could he be so stupid? He let his anger get the best of him, again, and he lost his chance—possibly his only chance—to discover clues about where Rey's location. What's worse, he caused her fall. Had he not scared her with the burst of foreign emotion, Rey wouldn't have lost her grip and fallen. She could be hurt, terribly injured, or worse! No, Kylo Ren told himself, he'd know if the fall had killed her. The Force would at least let him know that much. She was just unconscious and hopefully not too injured.

By the time his breathing calmed down, and his vision cleared enough that he was able to see the damage he wreaked. The walls were still searing with the heat of his saber and the floor was a mangled mess. Ben took a few more deep breathes before straightening his spine and walking through what remained of the door, back out to the main training room. All the Stormtroopers had stopped their exercises and watched in silent horror as Kylo Ren stalked out of the room, his robes billowing behind him as he went.

* * *

Kylo Ren sometimes couldn't stand wearing his helmet. It made him feel claustrophobic, scratched at his face like some insectoid from the depths of Rosche, and impaired his vision more than helped it. It did have its benefits, though. Kylo Ren liked it because it made him look fierce—demonic—and struck fear into the hearts of his enemies—much more than his still boyish looks ever could. It also made him feel connected to his grandfather, the great Darth Vader, whose mask, though long gone, still made all life forms tremble with instinctual panic. It was only fitting for him to continue the tradition of the mask, he'd decided the first time he placed it over his head.

Walking over an especially unstable sand dune, Kylo Ren mentally patted himself on the back for his decision in regards to the mask. The sun of Bakkah had brought about the deaths of many unfortunate souls who'd ventured too far away from shelter and would continue to do so in the future. Luckily, Kylo Ren would not be one of them. He'd been sent to Bakkah by Master Snoke to search out an ancient Sith amulet that was rumored to be hidden in one of the caves that lay beneath the sand. After months and months of searching, Kylo Ren had—frustratingly—returned to his Master empty handed. Snoke, pleased with his Knight's efforts, deemed that if the amulet was on Bakkah, it was so well hidden no one would ever be able to find it. Kylo Ren, however, resolutely believed the thing to be a myth.

Staring off into the distance easily, his mask diluting the sun's glare, Kylo Ren cursed softly under his breath as he took in the barren land. He kicked a nearby snake down the sand dune in his frustration and barely kept himself from stomping his feet like a petulant child. His Upsilon ship waited for him at the bottom of the dune. He was supposed to be boarding the shuttle at this very moment. His mission was finished. There was no amulet and other matters now called at the Knight of Ren's attention, but he hesitated. Kylo Ren had thought he felt a Force signature—no, he decided—he knew he felt a Force signature. He thought it felt vaguely familiar as well.

It could be Rey. There was plenty of sand on this planet which certainly fit in with the visions he's received. He'd heard of scavengers living on the Eastern hemisphere of this planet from his inferiors—maybe she was there, just beyond this horizon. He could be there in just a few moments. All he needed to do was bark out a few orders to his crew, but still, something was holding him back. It was a long shot, he knew. Doubt prickled at the back of his mind. He'd been down this road before. He'd felt a Force sensitive in the past only to discover it was some untrained scum of a life form. Sometimes they'd resemble Rey, or have a similar quality like her laugh or stubbornness, but in the end it never was Rey.

Tightening his gloved fists, Kylo Ren reflected bitterly on how much time had passed since he last saw Rey. He was pushing twenty five now—Rey would almost be sixteen—and it'd been just over three years since he'd last had a proper vision detailing her life. Their Force bond had become too faded and now, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how deep he went into his meditation, he couldn't slip into her conscious. Occasionally he'd still get flashes of her emotions, but even those were few and far between. He wondered if she was still the same girl he used to know. Did her nose still scrunch whenever she was learning something new? Had her stubbornness grown or withered since he last saw her? God, he thought, what did she even look like? What if he travelled to the end of the galaxy and never found her because he didn't recognize her? How many young girls had he seen already with similar features? Fear, sharp and acidic, fell to the bottom of Kylo Ren's stomach. No, he told himself fiercely, he'd know Rey anywhere. He _would_ find her. He _would_ recognize her. He _would_ bring her home.

Straightening his shoulders, Kylo Ren slid back down the dune to his shuttle, "Chart a course for Bakkah's most populace city on the Eastern hemisphere," he ordered his ship's captain, a frail, sickly woan by the name of Rallyn Muro.

Captain Muro stood before him, her heels snapping together as she addressed him, "Sir, our orders are to return to Starkiller Base."

"And now you have new orders, Captain," he told her, "and if you can't follow them, I'll find someone who can."

Swallowing thickly, she nodded, "Yes, sir." After saluting him, she scampered off. Kylo Ren followed behind at a much more leisurely pace. He knew his effect on people and he used that to his advantage more often than not. He knew that if he hunched his shoulders over just so, if he tilted his head to look at the ground in the right manner, or if he clasped his hands behind his back, the crew would grow anxious, fear the destruction he may cause, and work even harder and faster in hopes of keeping his relatively mild mood intact. He used all three mannerisms now as he skulked after Muro to ensure a quick flight.

When the Upsilon landed in the town—Kylo Ren didn't catch the name—the Force signature flared up again and he followed its trail until he came to a decrepit looking bar. After he walked in, all the hustle and bustle of the bar died away until the only sound was the music recording that blasted out of the speakers in the center of the room. Kylo Ren scanned the room, hoping he'd find who he was looking for quickly, but only saw the faces of smugglers, traders, and even some bounty hunters. The signature flared again, making Kylo Ren twist his neck almost painfully to watch as a girl stumbled through the door leading to the back of the bar and he felt the air rush out of him.

She resembled Rey. She had dark hair, a small nose, and a light spray of freckles. She even pulled her hair back in a similar manner. It wasn't her, though. This girl's lips were too full, her eyes too brown, and she was much too clumsy. Rey, even before her training at the Academy, had been exceptionally graceful. Even living these past several years as a scavenger wouldn't have taken that aspect away from her. The Force signature he had felt moments ago was now strange and foreign to him. How could he have ever mistaken Rey's signature for this stranger's? He felt ridiculous. He must have imagined the familiarity like some green-horned fool. Abruptly turning about face, Kylo Ren exited the bar and made for his shuttle.

How could he have been so naïve? He'd gone off on another wild greeper chase and once again had nothing to show for it. He was so angry he could kick himself. The longer he went without finding even a hint of Rey, the less chance he felt he had in finding her. It'd almost been ten years now and their connection was only dwindling as more years passed. After ordering the ship to return to Starkiller Base, Kylo Ren laid down on the bed in his quarters, ripped off his helmet, and stared at the ceiling. He wasn't sure what to do next. He felt so lost. He wished he had some form of guidance.

Blinking when he felt the shuttle land, Kylo Ren replaced his mask and started to exit the ship. He hesitated before walking down the ramp, feeling the presence of General Hux waiting for him just below. "What is it, General?" He asked.

"You were expected back on base two hours ago, Kylo Ren." He waited for Kylo Ren to speak, to explain why they were delayed. When he remained silent, Hux let out a huff of hot air through his nostrils, "What happened?"

"Unexpected circumstances delayed our departure from Bakkah," he told Hux. It was mostly true.

"I spoke with Captain Muro," Hux continued in a clipped tone.

"Did you?" Kylo Ren asked through his teeth. He'd remember Captain Muro's betrayal.

"Yes," Hux raised an eyebrow, "What interested you so on the Eastern side of Bakkah?"

Directing his cold, metallic gaze towards Hux, he responded, "It's none of your concern, General."

"This isn't your first indiscretion, Kylo Ren," Hux stated. "Does the Supreme Leader know about these detours of yours?"

"He does, in fact," Kylo Ren responded, his gloved hands trembling with effort not to use the Force on this impertinent man. "He knows all, General. You'd do well to remember that."

Hux's lip curled up in a sneer, but he didn't retaliate, instead he moved to clasp his hands behind his back and straightened his back even more, "Very well then, Kylo Ren. The Supreme Leader left something for you." His lip curled as he said it, almost as if it brought him pain.

"What is it?"

"I do not know," he said sharply. "I was not permitted to see it. All he said was it was a reward for your devoted work and that I, myself, was to inform you about it." Kylo Ren could feel the bitterness rolling off Hux in copious waves and smiled triumphantly. Without giving the general a word or nod of goodbye, Kylo Ren walked away and towards his room to see this mystery item.

The package was lying inconspicuously on his bed, and honestly, Kylo Ren probably wouldn't have been as interested about its contents had Hux not brought it up. So, without any pause, he tore into it and gasped when he saw the dented, almost melted looking mask of Darth Vader. For a moment, Kylo Ren wondered how Snoke ended up in possession of the item, but quickly waved the thought away. He was the Supreme Leader. A very powerful man. He could get his hands on anything he wished. Taking his own mask off—to better see this relic—Kylo Ren picked up his grandfather's mask and stroked his gloved fingers along it. Parts of the mask had been damaged greatly by the funeral pyre. It was dented by the top, rusted along the mouth piece, and the more jagged parts caught on the fabric of his gloves. Placing the mask down, Kylo Ren tore off his gloves intending to discover if the mask was as cool to the touch as it looked.

When he picked up the mask again, Kylo Ren felt an electric buzz run up his spine. It was obviously imbued with parts of Darth Vader's force signature, having been a part of his persona for so long, and Kylo Ren could feel the power radiating off it still. This, he thought worshipfully, was the true power of the Dark Side. Following his instincts, he touched his forehead to the cool metal. It felt like a blaster had gone off inside his body. His grip on the mask tightened, his breathing stopped, and he squeezed his eyes shut as he felt the power of the mask overcome his entire being. A blinding light flashed behind his eyes, and suddenly, Vader's mask spirited Kylo Ren away from Starkiller Base and onto another desert planet. It was similar to Bakkah, but with one planet sized difference: it had Rey. He could see her, standing in a line with scraps of metal in her arms.

"Rey!" He shouted, begging her to _hear_ him, to _see_ him. " _Rey_!" He tried again, and his heart stopped dead in his chest when he saw her pause in taking a step forward and instead turn her head to look back. _Finally_ , Kylo Ren could see her. _Properly_ see her. She'd grown up so much, and yet almost everything about her was the same. She still tied her hair back into three buns. She still held herself with grace and poise. She seemed fiercer, somehow, though. The years on whatever this planet was had tanned her skin—increasing the number of her freckles scattered across her nose and cheeks—and stolen away her childhood fat. Now she stood, taught and lean, made of pure, wiry muscle and the scowl on her face made her look like she was ready for a fight. She looked around, searching for the source of his voice, and then she spotted him. For a mere second he saw recognition sparkle behind her eyes. She straightened her spine and opened her mouth, like she was about to call out _his_ name in turn. Before anything came out of her mouth, her brows creased, a look of pain twisting her features, and she shook her head as if to dispel a mirage from her vision.

The landscape around him blurred and too soon Kylo Ren found himself back in his room at Starkiller Base breathing heavily and gripping his grandfather's mask so tightly his fingers were white. Normally, such a close call—and subsequent failure—would've sent him into a maddening, all consuming rage and he'd be destroying his room. This time though, this time he was smiling. It was a broad, almost lip splitting smile that made his cheeks ache, but he didn't care. He'd seen Rey. She'd seen him. He was getting closer. Their grandfather's mask had given him a gift. He could feel it, their bond had been restored, even just marginally. He was so close now. He could practically taste it.

"Thank you, grandfather," he whispered reverently, his lips ghosting against the cool metal of the mask. "Thank you for this gift."

* * *

When Master Snoke told Kylo Ren about the man on Jakku, Lor San Tekka, who had a map that would lead them to Luke Skywalker, he didn't hesitate in volunteering his services for the mission. He would give almost anything to come face to face with the Jedi Master once again. He swore if he ever did he'd make Luke tell him what he did with Rey, where he left her, and what he did to cut their connection. He'd take great pleasure extracting that information. His imagination ran wild with different torture methods which greatly pleased Master Snoke, so much that the withered creature actually smiled. Even with the added power from his grandfather's mask, Kylo Ren hadn't felt anything from Rey's side of their bond for years now, nor had he received any visions about her well-being, even the side effects of the bond had stopped. Kylo Ren was becoming desperate.

The Stormtroopers landed on the planet, in the small city called Cratertown, first. They secured the area, rounded up the civilians, and brought Lor San Tekka before Kylo Ren. At first, Kylo Ren was overwhelmed with the disappointing fact that they were too late and the Resistance had the map, but then that idiot of a pilot tried to avenge the old man. It was easy to stop the blast mid-air, especially in his high emotional state, and his Stormtroopers just as easily captured and brought the Resistance's greatest pilot before him. He ordered the pilot be brought with them, and the civilians slaughtered, and began his way to his ship when he felt it. A small flickering of the Force. He held his breath and slowly turned to where he thought he felt the flare. A familiar flare.

Gulping, Kylo Ren took a few moments to collect himself before tapping into the Force and probing for any other Force sensitives. It probably wasn't her, he told himself, trying not to let hope make a space in his heart. He'd been mistaken before, like that time on Bakkah. He could've sworn it was—but in the end, it wasn't. It was probably just another Force sensitive that would never amount to anything without any training. He had a job to do, anyway. Yes, he told himself, he needed to find the map and then find Luke. Luke was the one with the answers, after all. He was the _only_ one who knew for sure where Rey was. Still, when his probe came up with nothing, he couldn't stop the lung shaking sigh, nor the black hole that began to claw away at his chest. He walked up to Upsilon, trying to convince himself that he was doing the right thing. He had the pilot, he practically had the map, and soon he'd have Luke Skywalker.

It didn't even matter to Kylo Ren when he found out the pilot didn't have the map. He still felt optimistic about the mission, and why shouldn't he? He was closer to finding Rey than he had been in a _decade_. After rooting through the pilot's mind, Kylo Ren had discovered he'd stashed the map in his droid. A BB-8 unit. It might seem like another tedious step in the already miles long path he'd been walking ever since he was sixteen, but now at least Kylo Ren felt like he had direction. A light in his dark tunnel to guide him. It gave him hope, and he'd be damned if he let this hope die like all its predecessors. Finding the droid would be easy. It wasn't likely that the droid would be smart enough, or have the proper resources, to leave Jakku, and droids on that planet—especially good ones—were a rarity. He'd have the map in his hands by the end of the Jakku day. Confidently, he dispatched several Stormtroopers to retrieve it. He'd even approved the use of TIE Fighters just in case they ran into resistance from the civilians, just to be on the safe side.

"My lord," a lieutenant called his attention. Kylo Ren had been staring at a control panel, waiting as patiently as he could for his Stormtroopers to return with the droid. Turning his head slightly, he let the lieutenant know he was listening. The fear permeated off the man in waves, and Kylo Ren hoped that it had everything to do with who he was addressing and nothing to do with the droid. He wasn't ignorant, though, and the Force told him all he _needed_ to know even when he didn't necessarily _want_ to know. "We were," he paused, "unable to obtain the droid. It escaped capture aboard a stolen Corellian YT model freighter."

"The droid," Kylo Ren repeated slowly, "stole a freighter?" He wasn't surprised by the lost droid—the Force had prepared him for that blow—but the fact that this cog claimed it stole a freighter? There had to be more to the story.

"Not exactly, sir. It had help. We have no conformation, but," he gulped and shuffled his weight on his feet, "we believe that FN-2187 may have helped it."

Kylo Ren activated his lightsaber. What were the odds? He asked himself angrily and he pounded again and again at the console until it was nothing but rubble. What were the odds that the _one_ traitorous Stormtrooper would survive his escape, _and_ Jakku, _and_ find the _one_ droid in the entire galaxy the First Order was hunting, _and_ escape with it a second time? Calming himself down, an almost excruciating task, he focused on steadying his breathing and asked, "Anything else?"

Immediately, he knew there was. Fear skyrocketed within the lieutenant's pulse. "We," he paused again, mustering up his courage while trying not to clench his sweat-dewed hands, "we believe they were accompanied by a girl."

His stomach dropped. A girl, there was a girl with the traitor and the droid. A girl who was a native of Jakku. Jakku, a barren, desert planet that was crawling with scavengers, and where, just last night, he could have sworn he'd felt another Force sensitive being. Kylo Ren's mind flashed back to his visions of Rey. He remembered seeing her scavenge, saw her take her scavenged pieces to an outpost to sell, and all the while he remembered all the sand. So much sand that, even though he hadn't been with her, he could remember the grainy aftertaste the substance left in his mouth. Perhaps, he thought, perhaps there really had been a flare last night. Perhaps his probe to find the Force sensitive being failed because a flare was all it was. Perhaps the being's signature had been smothered after the flare. Was that how Luke had done it? Was that why he hadn't been able to sense Rey all this time? Had her link to the Force—her Force signature—been smothered?

Could that really be it? Could it really be her? His heart fluttered. He could pick out the emotions of hope and anxiety taking up root there, but there were also many, many more. So many Kylo felt his emotions going to war inside his body. His chest felt too hot, and yet his fingers and feet felt as cold as ice from Hoth. Was this really happening? Could he really be so close? What if this _was_ it? This could be it. This _had_ to be it. It could be Rey. It _had_ to be Rey. His mouth dried up and suddenly Kylo Ren felt ill, like his legs were likely to give out beneath him. His bottom lip quivered with uncertainty and he blinked several times to dispel the moisture he found in his eyes. Finally, he thought, _finally_ they'd be together again. No longer would they be sentenced to loneliness and despair. Once they had each other, they'd finally become whole once more. Kylo Ren almost couldn't believe it. He needed to be sure, though. He needed to know more. _Now_.

Using the Force to grab onto the lieutenant's wind pipe, Kylo Ren dragged his body closer and asked with painful enunciation, " _What girl_?"

 **A/N: Hi there, reviews are always appreciated!** **A big shout out to my friend Karrot who helped me edit this because the first draft was rough and without her it wouldn't have turned out this good. I might, not sure yet, write another piece in Kylo's pov of the rest of TFA and maybe even go on to write post-TFA stuff. Not sure yet. I do know I'm going to take a small break from writing SW just because I have other projects that I've been putting on the back burner and need to get back to. Not too long a break though so don't worry.**

 **If you guys want to see some original stuff of mine, on you can find me under the same author name. My tumblr is also hammiesworkshop and it has to do with lit/art but its whatever. If anyone would like me to write something, I'd accept prompts (so long as its SFW) and I think it'd be hella cool to do so!**


	5. Screams Echoing Off the Metal Walls

Rey's nose tingled unpleasantly as grains of sand seeped through her make shift mask and up her nostrils. Sucking in a deep breath, she sneezed loudly, expelling the foreign particles from her nose. Groaning softly, Rey wanted to kick herself. She'd just given away her position inside the Star Destroyer to any other scavengers nearby. Rey, at nine years old, wasn't very big. Not at all, really. So she needed to move quickly in case any other scavengers—bigger scavengers—came looking for the source of her sneeze. Grabbing the few pieces she'd been able to collect and placing them into her net-turned-satchel, she climbed up the fuel combustor with ease and surprising grace. Most other scavengers Rey's age weren't nearly as quiet or as nimble as she. Not by half. Rey didn't know how she could do all that she could. She used to know. She used to know the name of the planet she lived on, the names of her family members and what they looked like, she assumed she knew why it was they left her on Jakku, too, but whenever she tried to bring up any of those details, any clue that might help lead her back to her family, her head would split open with the most agonizing of headaches. Nowadays Rey just accepted her abilities at face value—it was much easier that way.

Carefully walking down the exterior of the ship, Rey kept her eyes peeled for any suspicious movement. Once her feet were safely on the sand, she looked up at the sky. The sun was no longer in the middle, it was just about to make its descent downwards. The day had come and gone meaning Rey had been out in the ship for well over eight hours now. Readjusting her satchel, she walked in the direction of Niima Outpost. One day, she swore to herself, she'd have her very own vehicle to drive herself from the Graveyard of Giants to town. For now though, she'd have to do without. So with her jaw set and chin held high, she began the trek.

The walk took over an hour, and Rey never drank a drop of water during the journey. She only ever had some water before entering a ship, exiting a ship, and after her arrival at the Outpost to ensure she never ran out of the precious resource. It was hard, but she tried not to let the thirst get to her, and on most days she was successful. To help take her mind off her thirst, she focused all her attention and remaining energy on scrubbing her scavenged pieces clean. She used all her strength, fully intent on erasing every grain of sand, every inch of grime, as quickly as she could so she could give her items to Unkar Plutt in exchange for water and portions. Glancing up, Rey saw an older woman meticulously scrubbing her own items. She'd been a scavenger a long time, longer than Rey had been alive. Every day, though, she'd see the woman sitting at the work bench, cleaning her items. Rey didn't know where she scavenged—she never saw her in the Graveyard, but she always appeared with items for Unkar. Rey watched her for a half second longer, admiring the way she cleaned her items, before her dry, almost scaly tongue twitched and reminded her of her intense thirst.

Walking up to Unkar Plutt's hut should have been easy. Unkar was the only relatively friendly face Rey knew on the entire planet. She'd been in his care since she first step foot on Jakku. She could still remember the way he yanked on her arm when she tried to run after her family and yelled at her to be quiet. Maybe that was the reason she always hesitated before walking up to his window and displaying her items to him. Or maybe it was because she could see, even though all his kindness and protection, that he only saw her as a tool. Something he could use to his advantage. Rey was a good scavenger. One of the best, actually. And Unkar Plutt liked having the best work for him. He hummed as he looked down at her offering, twisting and twirling some of the items. Eventually he put them down as offered, "One-half portion."

Pursuing her lips, she didn't argue—though she knew he was ripping her off—she just took her portions and hurried off to Unkar Plutt's house. Although Unkar Plutt allowed her to stay in his home—though she never understood _why_ —Rey still had to take care of herself. She was in charge of procuring her own food and water, her own clothes, even maintaining her own safety while out in the graveyard. Still, at least she had a roof over her head at night. That was more than most could say on this planet.

Sitting down on her blanket—shoved in the corner of a room—Rey immediately drank some water and began activating her portion. While the portion warmed up and the bready powder absorbed some water and began to inflate, Rey pulled her blanket to the side and ran her fingers over the small scratches in the floor before adding a new tally mark at the very bottom. Rey had started this tradition a few days after her family had left her on Jakku. She'd begun to lose track of how much time was passing, especially without a calendar, so she improvised and made a calendar of her own. There were over six hundred tally marks now. Unkar would be furious if he knew what Rey had done to his floor, but she couldn't help it. It was almost compulsive now. Wake up, scavenge, exchange for portions, tally mark, sleep, repeat. Scarfing down her portion quickly, Rey settled down on her blanket and closed her eyes, exhaustion soon over taking her.

The next day, much like the one previous, Rey found herself sitting at the Niima Outpost scrubbing as hard as she could at the grease stains on a band limiter. She was just about finished cleaning her haul when she heard Unkar Plutt's voice call out, " _Girl_!" Knowing he was referring to her, Rey's brows raised when she saw him wobbling over. His mouth was twisted into a scowl—or, at least, Rey thought it was. It was hard to determine between that and his normal facial expression. He was close enough now to grab her. His meaty hand squeezed her bicep so hard Rey hissed in pain. "Come here, _girl_!"

Unkar Plutt dragged Rey away from the table—not even allowing her time to gather her items—and towards his home. He walked towards where her blanket usually was, but today was not. The blanket was mysteriously absent and the tally marks that were supposed to be hidden underneath. "What have you done to my floor, girl?" He yelled in her ear. Rey squirmed in his grasp and felt tears prickle her eyes. Panic began to uncurl in her chest. He was going to hurt her, she knew it. Something in her belly told her so. "You've done it now girl," he snarled. "Do you know how much it's going to cost to fix this? You'll be working this off for years!"

She hated when Unkar got like this. He'd yell and rage and for what? Some stupid, dirty floor! Rey did know what it would cost to fix the floor: nothing! The floor was basically made of hard packed sand. All he'd need to do was scrape away the marks. It wouldn't take longer than a few minutes. Feeling a burst of courage in her chest, Rey began to struggle and flail her body, trying to break free. She wouldn't let him user her again. She wouldn't be his slave. Not for portions and not for some dirty floor!

Ripping her arm from his grasp—perhaps not the smartest escape strategy, but Rey would deal with the bruises later—she didn't give Unkar Plutt a chance to grab for her again. Turning heel, Rey ran as fast as her feet would carry her out of the house. "Get back here girl!" Unkar Plutt yelled after her.

Rey thought she heard him yell something about not being allowed back if she left, but she couldn't have cared less. She wanted to get away, as far away as she could, and never look back. She wasn't sure where she was going—especially now that she no longer had a place to call shelter—but she was never going back to Unkar Plutt.

Breathing heavily, Rey saw that she was back at the cleaning station and, amazingly, her items were still on the table. "I saved them for you," the woman Rey saw every day told her with a kind, almost sad smile. "I didn't want you to lose your portions because the Blobfish was being a sleemo."

Giving the woman a tentative smile, Rey gathered up her items into her satchel and muttered a quick "Thank you," before turning and running off once again. She needed to find shelter for the night, and she needed to find it _fast_. If the sun set before she found a place to rest, she was a goner. The desert nights were worse than their days and many young scavengers were known to underestimate the harsh climate drop and consequently die in their sleep from hypothermia.

The sun was just about the sink below the horizon and Rey felt like she'd been walking longer than she ever had in her entire life. She hadn't even gotten any portions to eat because of Unkar Plutt. Thankfully she still had her satchel of items that were still tradeable—if Unkar Plutt would still trade with her, that is—and some water leftover from her day of scavenging. Not that it'd do her any good if she didn't find anywhere to ward off the night's chill. She'd just climbed over a sand dune when she saw it: an AT-AT. It was laying on its side, half buried, at the bottom of her dune. Rey scoured the surrounding area to see if there were any signs that the AT-AT was already inhabited by someone. Not seeing anything obvious, she slid down the dune and as quietly as she could and walked up to the machine. There were no security traps around the legs or the underbelly of the AT-AT so Rey took a chance and twisted the hatch open. The inside smelled horrible, like air that had turned stale, but Rey didn't care enough to leave. It was safe, that was the important part. Crawling inside, Rey placed her satchel down and took a look around.

It wasn't very spacious, but it was big enough for her. There was plenty of room for her to lay down and sleep and even extra room to store portions, water, and Graveyard junk. Walking up to one of the blank metal walls, Rey found a nail and set to work of creating a new tally calendar. When she finished, she stepped back to look at her handiwork. The once bare wall was now decorated with six hundred and twenty three tally marks and Rey couldn't help the satisfied smile on her lips. She liked being able to display her calendar instead of hiding it beneath a ratty old blanket. Looking around, Rey felt her chest swell up with a sense of peace. This place was now hers, she'd officially claimed it, and she'd be damned if she let anyone take it from her.

* * *

Rey stared down around the hangar bay of the abandoned Dreadnaught Cruiser. She'd found the ship without even meaning to. The ship she'd originally been planning on scavenging—an Imperial Landing Craft—was compromised. As she'd prepared to descend into that ship, she'd heard voices. Three voices to be precise. They belonged to other scavengers. They had to. Other scavengers had approached her before, she was a good scavenger, after all and many had asked her to join forces with them. To scavenge with them. They always spoke of promises like protection, community, and larger portions, but Rey always turned the offers down. She knew some of them had to be decent people, and perhaps she could've come to trust and rely on them, but the risk was too great. She'd heard too many horror stories. Too many stories where a member of that so called community would turn greedy and kill some if not all of their supposed companions. There were too many untrustworthy people on this planet—a fact if there ever was one—for Rey to take that sort of chance.

So Rey had turned around and high tailed it away from the Landing Craft. She'd desolately thought she'd go another day without a portion and began her trek back to her AT-AT when she'd tripped over the hatch for the Dreadnaught's hangar bay. The ship was buried under mountains of sand, but the hangar bay had been revealed by the shifting dunes and the unrelenting wind that had picked up momentum over the past few days. Rey knew she'd hit the jackpot. There'd be enough items in the ship to earn her copious amounts of portions. A week's worth at the very least. The only problem was Rey couldn't move. Her legs were frozen beneath her as she stared into the dark corridor. What if the ship crashed before the crew could evacuate? Rey had never been the first to discover a ship in the Graveyard before. What if she came upon a body in one of the rooms?

Hands feeling clammy, Rey's heart beat erratically in her chest. It beat so hard it was the only sound she heard. Her mouth felt dry—drier than usual—and she couldn't make herself swallow. What _would_ she do if she found a body? Would she scream? Probably, her mind supplied, but _then what?_ Would she leave? Would she keep scavenging? What if the bodies had somehow been preserved? What if they hardly looked dead at all? What if they looked like they'd just closed their eyes for a light nap?

In the end it was her stomach that made the decision. The muscles of her belly cramped and twisted with the pains of starvation. She'd been scrapping by on a half Portion a day, but it wasn't cutting it. Her growing body needed more. Closing her eyes and breathing in deeply, Rey steeled herself for what she had to do. Slowly but steadily, she moved her feet. One foot followed the other as she made her way deeper into the ship. She wanted to start with the reserve power generators with two hopes in mind. The first being that she wouldn't come across any bodies there and the second being that she could find some parts that still worked. She'd noticed some things while waiting in line for portions at the Niima Outpost, and it seemed like Unkar Plutt always paid more for items that still worked.

Climbing up the generators wasn't hard. There were plenty of places to grab onto or to place her feet, but the metal was harsh and jagged. If Rey wasn't being _perfectly_ careful—and, after all, no one was perfect—she'd end up cutting her hands, arms, and knees somewhere along the way up. It always happened though, so Rey hardly noticed such minor injuries. One day, she told herself, she'd be able to barter for some protective gear. Or, better yet, Rey's family would finally— _finally_ —return and take her home to a place she'd never have to scavenge to live again. For now though, she'd ignore the cuts and bruises and scour the generators for any and all salvageable items.

Everything was going according to plan, Rey had gathered half a satchel full of good—really good—items when all of a sudden, a burning, white hot rage spiked within her chest. The emotion felt foreign, as if it didn't belong to Rey, and in her shock she lost her grip on the generator and began to fall. It happened so fast, a scream tore its way out of her throat. The sound echoed off the metal walls for half a second before being cut off as her body hit the hard ground. Thankfully Rey didn't feel the immediate aftermath of the impact. The moment her head hit the metal floor her mind went blissfully blank.

Groaning, Rey wasn't sure how much time had passed before her consciousness returned and she was able to open her eyes. Her head felt hot, as if the sun had been blazing down on it for the past twelve hours, and her body felt disoriented. Everything from her neck down ached softly, and Rey knew that within a few hours her body would be covered in nasty, dark purple bruises and that the aches she felt now would only increase tenfold. Rey was grateful the pain wasn't sharper. No bones were broken, somehow she wasn't bleeding, and although she was worried of what she'd see when she finally look at the back of her skull, she reasoned with herself that it couldn't be that bad. She was alive and awake, after all. After a few moments longer lying on the ground, she was able to roll over onto her stomach and push herself up onto her knees. Rubbing the back of her neck, Rey briefly wondered what had happened to her. What was that anger that had flooded her so suddenly? Well, she figured, the feeling was long gone now and she needed to get moving.

It was slow going, but eventually Rey made it back to the hangar bay. She could see the sky from the opened hatch and groaned again—this one was not caused by pain. The sun had set and there was no way Rey would make it back to her AT-AT so late. Stomping down on a new wave of fear, Rey resigned herself to the fact that she'd be spending the night in the Cruiser. Beginning her limped walk again, Rey headed for the crew's quarters. She supposed she'd be finding out if this ship still had bodies on it after all.

Luckily for Rey, the room she entered was free of bodies. In fact, it was still quite well preserved and well stocked. Rey saw a whole crateful of rations pushed to the side of the room. However, even though her stomach had been ravenous before, now it was silent and the only thing her body wanted was go to sleep. On the other side of the room there was a bed—an honest to god bed—with a foam mattress and blankets and everything and Rey thought she'd cry at the sight of it. She didn't, of course. Crying led to nothing but dehydration and wasting resources.

Instead, she slowly and carefully lowered her body onto the mattress and then pulled the blanket over herself. Closing her eyes, Rey thought she'd get the best night of sleep in her entire life. She was wrong. Her body, so accustomed to sleeping on a hard, flat surface, couldn't adjust to this newer, softer arrangement. No matter how hard she tried, Rey couldn't get comfortable, and so, after a few hours of tortured turning from one side to the other, Rey grabbed the pillow and blankets and moved off the bed and onto the hard floor. Her body, now at peace on the hard, cold floor, finally relaxed and within minutes Rey felt her consciousness slip away into the dream world.

* * *

Standing in line for Unkar Plutt's hut, Rey fidgeted almost obsessively with the makeshift sleeves she'd made for herself the other night. She'd found someone within the Niima Outpost who sold old, worn, and reused fabrics. Rey had bartered with the seller—an elderly male Uthuthma—offering him three fusion chambers for two yards of fabric. It had cost her some portions, but Rey figured it was worth it. Now her arms and hands would be protected—or, _better_ protected—while she worked in the Graveyard of Giants. Still, the fabric scratched and rubbed her skin in an unfamiliar way and Rey couldn't stop her fingers from pulling and adjusting the sleeves every few seconds. Hopefully she'd acclimate to the change soon enough.

Rey sighed and shook her head before taking a step forward in line. Either everyone had waited until now to exchange their goods with Unkar Plutt, or it had been a phenomenal day in the Graveyard for the scavengers. Looking down into her own net-weaved satchel, Rey wrinkled her nose in thought. She'd had a relatively good scavenging day, so it wasn't impossible to think that others had been just as lucky. Still, she thought as she moved forward again and began filling her arms with her items, with so many people flooding Unkar Plutt with good items, the payment would decrease and the portion prices would increase. It was a classic Unkar Plutt move.

Rey's stomach's muscles cramped hard at the thought, but she willed the pain away. She'd get what she'd get from Unkar Plutt and be grateful she was getting anything at all. Readjusting some of the items in her arms, Rey stepped forward in line again. "Rey!" Her spine stiffened. She thought she heard something—something that sounded suspiciously like her name—but she ignored it. It was probably just the wind.

" _Rey_!" She heard again. This time she _knew_ it was her name being called, but who would be calling for her? Heart jumping into her throat, she thought that maybe— _just maybe_ —it was her family. Turning around, Rey tried to find the person calling for her. In the distance she saw a tall man who's skin color screamed he belonged on a planet without such a harsh sun, hair as dark as space itself, and wore clothes that matched. His face was long and narrow, and the muscles within it were twisted with too many emotions for Rey to even begin to decipher from so far away.

Her mind shut down. It was almost as if a blanket of safety wrapped itself around her brain. Her senses dulled and a warm, fuzzy feeling of content washed over her. Looking at him—this _stranger_ —meant safety. He represented _home_. Rey's mouth opened, her tongue began to form a word before her brain could catch up and understand _what_ word was being formed. Before sound could escape her, though, a sharp pain assaulted her protective psyche blanket. Lips pulling back in a grimace, Rey closed her eyes and tried to shake the pain away. The pain was gone almost as quickly as it came, and Rey opened her eyes, trying to relocate the man that had brought her entire being such peace, but when she looked out to the desert sands, she couldn't find anyone that looked like the man or anyone even looking in her direction.

Shoulder slumping with dejection, Rey told herself she was being silly. It was a mirage, that was all. Her name being called, the vision of the man, all of it was just an illusion that her sun baked brain cooked up. The pain, she figured, must have been another hunger pain. Trying hard to release her feeling of disappointment, Rey blew hot air out of her nose and turned back around. She needed to finish her business with Unkar Plutt, gather her well-earned portions, and go home to rest. Maybe with some shade and food, she'd be able to forget all about the mirage-man and the false feelings of belonging and comfort that accompanied him.

* * *

Walking away from Unkar Plutt's hut with half a satchel bag full of portions—it was a good day for scavenging—Rey looked out across the desert horizon. The wind had picked up since she'd left the Graveyard of Giants earlier in the afternoon and a feeling deep in her belly told her that a ferocious storm was on its way. Readjusting her loose fabric back around her head and mouth, then putting on her goggles, Rey prepared herself for the journey home and hoped she'd make it back to the AT-AT before the storm hit. She'd found the goggles recently. They were hidden away on a Star Destroyer that had been almost completely gutted throughout the years. Rey had come across them crammed in between a wall and the hollowed out skeleton of a missile launcher. She had a better pair before these, Rey reminisced sadly, but had to sell those years ago to Unkar Plutt for two portions. It was one of her biggest regrets, especially because those portions had done nothing to absolve her of her hunger pains. These goggles were a little loose and never felt secure enough. Rey fiddled with the straps, trying to make them tighter, but they'd have to do as is until she could make it home. There she could better adjust them. For now though, her priority was to simply beat the storm home.

Hopping onto her speeder, Rey drove as fast as her home made vehicle allowed. Which was, admittedly, pretty fast. It had taken her a long time to build—even longer to find all the necessary parts—but Rey couldn't be prouder of the end result. It was almost a cross between a normal speeder and a swoop, was able to carry heavy loads, and, most importantly, was fast. It was ideal for Rey, considering her occupation, and whenever she thought of the machine, a small, triumphant smile graced her lips.

The speeder got Rey back to her AT-AT with just moments to spare. The wind speeds had doubled, making it almost impossible for Rey to see—even with her goggles—because of the clouds of sand being formed. Sealing the entryway behind her, Rey shook the sand off her before unwrapping the fabric around her face and puling the goggles off her head. Placing the goggles on her work bench, she sat down beside it and began to tinker with some of the items there. Sometimes the items she scavenged could be fixed—or looked like they could be fixed—and she'd bring them back home with her instead of straight to Unkar Plutt. If she could get just one of the pieces working again, she'd earn herself twice as many portions than if she were to give him the broken piece. After all, Unkar Plutt always paid more for items that still worked. Rey discovered that fact when she was younger, and as she grew, she always kept an eye out for anything that would enable her to take advantage of that fact. She figured she'd use this time—the time the storm gave her—to focus on tinkering with some of these items.

The storm took longer than Rey thought it would. It dragged on for days and days. By the third day of the storm, she'd fixed everything on her workbench that could be fixed and she began to worry about her dwindling supplies. Long ago she'd began to store away any extra portions and water in case anything like this storm ever happened, but without knowing how long it would go on for, Rey wasn't sure how much she should ration herself each day. Deciding to play it safe than sorry, she tried to eat and drink as little as possible, hoping to extend her cache for as long as possible.

Hunger pains racked her body, but that wasn't too unusual for Rey. She knew the best way to overcome the ravenous feeling inside herself was to take her mind off it. Usually scavenging was her escape, but since the storm took that option away, she had to get creative. One of the items she'd fixed, she'd discovered, was a simulation device. Turning it on, Rey blinked in surprise when she saw it was a flight simulator—and advanced one at that. Excitement buzzing through her veins, Rey fiddled around with some of the settings and options and discovered she was able to choose between dozens of different ships and hundreds of different locations. The simulator offered to her the names of planets and systems that she'd never even heard of before. It was truly amazing. She'd always wondered what other planets looked like, and now she could find out. All without stepping one foot off Jakku.

By the time the storm finally did end, she'd flown a number of ships—she'd lost count—from small, repulsor-driven atmospheric crafts to several different types of fighters, she even got around to some of the stock freighters. It was like she'd entered a whole new galaxy. One where she was a real pilot and she could go anywhere she wanted whenever she wanted. Rey's large, thrilled smile dampened some when she realized the storm had finally ended, meaning she'd have to return to the Graveyard for work. She'd have to return her attention to scavenging—to surviving—and leave the flight simulation behind. At least, she thought as a wry smile replaced her previous one, until the next sand storm hit.

* * *

After scratching another tally mark into the wall of her AT-AT, Rey collected her now fully cooked portion onto a plate and moved to eat it outside. She'd had a trying day in the Graveyard. She'd had to go deeper into a Star Destroyer than was usually needed, and her arms were still aching from all the climbing she'd had to do. Still, it was a nice night out and Rey knew she'd regret it if she didn't at least try and appreciate it. For once the winds were still, they weren't picking up the small grains of sand and slicing away at any uncovered skin, and the sun had almost set, meaning the sand was still warm, but the air was nice and cool. Rey sat down outside the AT-AT and sighed as her muscles relaxed against the soft, warm sand.

Feeling light headed with exhaustion and a touch giddy, Rey put an old Rebellion pilot helmet—something she'd found inside her AT-AT ages ago—and continued to look out over the darkening sand dunes while shoving as much food as she could fit into her mouth. She'd just finished with her meal when she heard something unusual. It was muffled, and not organic sounding, but Rey knew it was a cry for help all the same. Looking around sharply, Rey quickly ripped off her old pilot helmet and stood up, trying to locate the source of the sound. Grabbing her quarterstaff, she ran off in the direction of the noise.

Coming over the crest of a sand dune, Rey saw Teedo dragging along a droid in a net. Brows furrowing. The droid was shouting at Teedo, telling him to let it go—that it didn't belong to him, but Teedo wasn't listening, as usual. Rey could feel her indignation building up inside her chest. That droid was still fully functioning! It was sentient and was telling Teedo to stop. Teedo _needed_ to stop. "Teedo!" She called, "Tal'ama parqual!" What did he think he was doing? The droid was not his, and obviously not something he scavenged from the Graveyard. Teedo and the droid both stopped their movements to look up at Rey.

"Parqual! Zatana tappan-aboo!" Teedo responded with derision thick in his tone. He didn't like Rey's interference. He just wanted to trade the droid, and gather up his payment.

Rey frowned and set her jaw. Teedo's words were uncalled for. Not since she was a child had she been talked to like that—especially not by a fellow desert dweller. Sliding down the dune, she pulled out a small knife she kept on her and started cutting away at his net. "Namago!" she growled. "Ta bana contoqual!" Teedo tried to yell at her, tried to call her attention away from the droid by baiting her with slurs and even more derision, but she didn't look away from the net until the droid was free. Pointing her knife at him, she threatened, "Noma. Ano tamata, zatana." He would not get this droid. And if he wanted it that badly, he'd have to go through _her_ first.

Teedo, never one for a fight, continued his verbal attack but steered his mount away from Rey and the droid all the same. Once he was a safe distance away, the little droid, which had been pretty silent up until then, called out its own version of a swear. Rey's head snapped down at the droid in surprise. She didn't even know droids _could_ swear. "Shh," she told it, not wanting Teedo to feel the need to come back. Bending down so she was on level with the droid, Rey reached out her hands and said, "Your antenna's bent," before grabbing the small wire and plucking it out of the droid's dome head. "That's just Teedo," she told it as she straightened the wire, "he has no respect for anything." There was a short pause before Rey asked, "Where do you come from?" Her curiosity was practically burning now that Teedo was gone. What _was_ such a sophisticated droid doing on its own in the middle of the desert? It beeped at her and she snorted, "Classified, really? Me, too." She unconsciously began screwing the antenna harder back into the droid's head. "There," she said, once the antenna was back to its rightful position.

Standing back up, Rey pointed towards the direction of the nearest town "You're going to want to head in that direction, towards Niima. Be sure to watch out for the tar pits, or you'll end up drowning in them." With that, Rey gave herself a little nod, feeling she'd done all she could do, and turned around to head back home. The droid seemed to disagree, however, and told her it'd rather follow her. "No," she said slowly once she saw what it was doing. She pointed again, "Town's _that_ way." It beeped again, sounding so distraught, so sad, and so very, very _lonely_. Feeling her resolve deflate like a popped balloon, Rey jerked her head to the side, signaling to the droid that it could follow. Chirping happily, and quite incessantly, it caught up to Rey and rolled alongside her as she led the way home.

Although the droid seemed averse to telling her where it was from, it had no problem telling her what to call it. "BB-8, huh? I'm Rey."


	6. Dreaming of a Lost Memory

Ahch-To was nothing like anything Rey had ever seen before. When Rey had landed on Takodana, she'd almost wept at how green it was. The lush forests ran on far beyond her eyes could see and a part of her wished she had never left that planet. Jakku, by contrast, was a barren wasteland where life forms went to wither away. The only pull Rey had to the planet was the hope that her family would one day return to claim her. But with the events of Starkiller Base and Finn and the Resistance, Rey knew her place was no longer on the desert planet. No, she was right where she belonged, on Ahch-To trying to convince Luke Skywalker— _the_ Luke Skywalker—that he should return with her and rejoin the fight against the First Order.

The living legend that was the Jedi Master was currently sulking in his small hut of a home, trying to avoid Rey and the responsibilities she represented, giving her plenty of time to appreciate this planet made almost entirely of water. She stood off on the side of a cliff, appreciating the way the sea breezed against her face and throughout the knots in her hair, and watched the waves raise and crash against the shore. It was calming, the sea. It reminded Rey of a not too distant memory that fluttered against the edge of her psyche. No other information ever accompanied the vision of the oceans she dreamed of, but Rey was still glad for the feeling of safety and comfort that accompanied them.

Closing her eyes and letting out a sigh, she tried to empty her mind and relax her muscles. After everything that had happened the past week—finding BB-8, Finn, losing Han and fighting Kylo Ren—Rey had hoped this one task of finding and bringing home the Jedi Master would be easy. She had no such luck, however. The Universe— _the Force_ —whatever it was, refused to give her a break. Luke, upon seeing her, turned whiter than any hologram and looked as scared as a trapped Ewok. All she did was try to hand him his lightsaber, but the man refused to take it. He refused to come back to base with her. He practically refused to even _look_ at her! Rey's temper had flared and she'd been tempted to smack him upside the head with her quarterstaff, but she'd held herself in check—barely—and told him as calmly as she could, that she would not be leaving until he changed his mind. He'd promptly stalked off to his hut with a dramatic flare of his robes and hadn't popped out since, but Rey didn't care. He could stay in his hut for a month and she'd still be waiting for him. And with a view like this, Rey wasn't going to get bored any time soon.

" _Come on, Rey! Let's climb the trees today. How does that sound?_ " Rey's eyes snapped open and she turned her head left and right, trying to find the source of the voice. No one was near her, though. Luke was still hiding away and there was no one else on the island that spoke English. Pressing a hand to her forehead, she gently shook her head, trying to shake off the strange feeling that washed over her body after hearing the voice. Deciding she was exhausted—and she had the right to be, after all, seeing as how she hadn't had a proper night's sleep since meeting Finn—Rey walked back towards the Falcon for some much needed shut eye. Luke wouldn't abscond in the night. He would keep until morning, when Rey would try for round two.

* * *

Snuggling deep into one of the Falcon's cots, Rey felt her eyes droop and drip. As her eyelids fluttered to a close, the details of her room aboard the Falcon faded away. Brows furrowing, Rey blinked again and startled up into a sitting position with a small gasp. She was no longer lying down on a cot inside a metal ship. Instead of looking around and seeing details from the Millennium Falcon, Rey found herself standing in the middle of an open field. The sky was a soft purple, dotted with fluffy pink clouds drifting in the wind. Off in the horizon, Rey saw an almost never ending forest of lush, green trees leading up to a boarder of majestic mountains. Behind her stood a building, with dozens of broken stones that made up stairs leading up to it. A young girl with dark brown hair styled similarly to her own sat on one of the steps,watching a trail on ants march into the grass. Rey's body buzzed with a sense of comfort and belonging she'd never known before. This place . . . she didn't recognize it, or anything about it, but something deep within her belly told her she was safe here. That she could call this place home.

" _Rey!_ " A young boy with dark, curly hair called out to her from across the field. His presence brought a sense of familiarity for Rey, even though his face was a blank slate, whipped clean of all details one would use to identify another being. Still, he ignited a small, but bright, beacon of happiness within the center of her chest. The young girl behind Rey looked up, and Rey noticed her face was also wiped clean of any real detail. The young girl smiled broadly to the boy and wasted no time in leaping up and running over to him. The boy's face lit up as well and he threw open his arms so she could jump into his embrace and spin the two of the around.

" _Ben!_ " She cried out with laughter as the two children fell to the ground once dizziness overcame the boy. " _You're back!_ " She smiled wider than Rey had ever seen a child do. " _When did you get back? You were gone for a long time,_ " she feigned a pout and gently punched his shoulder, " _did you miss me?_ "

" _Of course I missed you,_ " he tapped her nose playfully. " _We would've been home sooner, but Master Luke likes to take his time,_ " the boy rolled his eyes. " _Did you miss me?_ "

" _Nope!_ " She teased, turning her nose up at him. " _Not even a little bit!_ "

" _Oh, you wound me!_ " Ben reared back and clutched the fabric over his heart. " _My heart—oh, my poor heart! I cannot go on!_ " He shouted, drawing amused stares from the few people milling about the courtyard.

The young girl giggled and pushed his chest with both her hands. " _You're silly,_ " she told him.

Sobering up, Ben hummed and sat up, " _Gotta be if I want to see that pretty smile of yours,_ " he flicked her cheek, making her laugh all over again. " _There it is. My own little ray of sunshine._ " Standing up, he reached down and lifted her up onto her feet.

He stepped away, planning on brushing off some of the dirt he'd gotten on his clothes when she flung herself forward and threw her arms around his torso. " _I did miss you, Ben,_ " she admitted seriously. " _You know that, right?_ " Rey watched as the boy smiled tenderly down at the girl and almost felt the need to look away, feeling as if she was intruding on their moment somehow. There was something deeper going on here, something more than just a few reassuring words being passed between two children.

" _Yeah, Rey, I know._ " Ben responded. " _Now,_ c _ome on, Rey!_ " His eyes twinkled with mischief as he placed his hands on her small shoulders and excitedly shook her frame. _"Let's climb the trees today. How does that sound?_ "

Perking up and losing the serious tone she had just a moment ago, the young girl beamed up at him and began to bounce on the balls of her feet, " _Yes, yes, yes! Can we try to really tall ones today?_ "

" _Only if you don't tell Master Luke,_ " Ben told her seriously.

" _Okay!_ " She nodded multiple times, " _It'll be a secret!_ "

Smiling, Ben nodded in agreeance, " _Yeah, our secret._ "

* * *

Eyelids fluttering open, Rey groaned when she saw the light seeping into the Falcon's windows and realized it was morning already. Late morning by the looks of it. Sitting up on the cot, she stretched her arms above her head and yawned, trying to remember the dream she had last night. It was . . . strange. She thought she dreamt of herself, only younger, and there was a boy . . . but she couldn;t remember his name. Rey could remember almost everything that was said during the dream, but not his name, even though she was sure it was said. His face was blurred, she remembered that, and that they were friends, but beyond that, though, everything turned fuzzy. Furrowing her brow, Rey tried to regain more of the dream's details, but after a few moments realized the more she tried to remember them, the farther they slipped away. Realizing it was a lost cause, Rey settled back into the cot, deciding to spend a few more moments in bed. Her chest felt light and full of air. Her muscles, which were usually coiled tight with tension, hummed with warm electricity that made her toes curl beneath her blanket. And a small, easy smile flitted onto her lips as she reveled in the after effects of her dream.

* * *

 **A/N: Please Review! I always get excited when I receive feedback so anything is appreciated.**


	7. Through Time All Things Become Clearer

Two days passed since Rey's first night on Ahch-To, since the night her dreams began, and although Luke hadn't agreed to come back and join the Resistance, he had agreed to train her. Everyday, from sun up to sun set, Rey trained under Luke. She had assumed that he would have taught her how to properly wield a lightsaber or the ways of the Force, but so far the only time she got to hold the lightsaber was to deflect low level blaster shots with her eyes closed, and the only time Luke spoke of the Force was before meditation. The rest of their time was spent running up and down the stony ruins that decorated the island to build up her endurance. At one point Luke joked that she should probably perform the task while carrying him on her back . . . or, at least, she thought he was joking. It was hard to tell with Master Luke sometimes.

She didn't mind the training, though. Sure, she was a little disappointed they wouldn't be training with lightsabers for a while, but she knew it'd come eventually. And she didn't want to seem rude or too presumptuous, either. Luke had barely agreed to training her, she didn't want to make him regret it. So similarly to her days on Jakku, she grit her teeth and bared the tasks set before her. At least Ahch-To's atmosphere provided more protection from the sun than Jakku's. Her skin was safe from burning and there was never a need to ration water thanks to all the rainfall. Her muscles, though toned and strong from years of scavenging, were always tender and lethargic at the days end, which helped ease her into peaceful sleeps the past few nights. She always tried to meditate before sleeping, Master Luke advised her to, after all, but always just as she felt her mind relax and begin to tap into the Force, she'd fall asleep.

This night wasn't any different than its predecessors.

 _Lights, electric and neon, blinked in and out of focus in the black night's sky. Hoping. Searching. The moon steadily climbed through the sky, grabbing onto one star then moving on to the next. After the moon passed, the stars would twinkle and shine brighter than before, ecstatic at the attention they'd received. Nothing was out of place and everything was at peace. The moon was about to pass over the smallest of the stars, a three pronged thing, when one of the brightest and oldest of the stars began to burn hotter. Hotter than ever before. The moon saw, but could do nothing but watch as the star fizzled and grew larger and faster than anything ever had. The star, once a constant in the night's sky, turned into a shooting star and fell down, down, down, towards the horizon. A blinding, flaring light sparked as the shooting star met with the edge of the sky and the burning light of the sun began to rise—unwanted by all in the sky—towards them. The other stars tried to stay alight against the sun's harsh rays, but one by one they all went out. All, that is, except the smallest. For the moon, knowing that the sun would bring an end to the peaceful night, moved in front of the three pronged star, eclipsing it from the sun's ever searing gaze._

Eyes blinking open, Rey stretched out her muscles and stared at the ceiling of her room and thought of the stars she had seen in the sky the night before. Three prongs . . . was there even such a thing as a three pronged star? She wondered, but had never seen one before herself. Then again, she mused as she rolled out of bed, it was a dream, and dreams rarely ever made sense.

Nights later, after a particularly hard training session—turned out Master Luke _hadn't_ been joking about carrying him on her back—Rey trudged back to her room on the Millennium Falcon. It had begun to rain on her during the journey, but she paid it no mind. Discarding her wet clothing with a sigh, Rey flopped down onto her cot and let herself fall into the dark abyss of sleep.

 _Sand, rough, coarse, irritating sand. It was everywhere. Nowhere was safe. Tongues were muted as sand slipped into the cracks of teeth and down the esophagus. Gagging. Gagging and choking as people tried to dislodge the sand. Eyes were blinded as it clumped together in the lashes of men and women alike. No matter how much water was added, no matter how hard people rubbed, the sand would not dissipate. After a while it seemed that their eyes even cried sand. Rey couldn't breath. Sand had clogged her nostrils, cutting off her breathing. Asphyxiating her. She clawed and clawed but nothing but more sand tore away. She didn't know how to escape the stuff. It was everywhere._

 _"You need a teacher!" A voice called desperately from far off. Rey couldn't focus on it. Only on the sand. Her hand grasped at her neck, trying desperately to somehow force air into her lungs. "I can show you!" The voice continued. It angered Rey. Couldn't whoever it was see she was choking? That she was_ dying _? Didn't they care? "I can show you the ways of the sand!"_

Rey's gasp echoed throughout the metal walls of the ship. Panting heavily, she clutched at her chest. She could breathe. She wasn't drowning in sand. She could breathe. Closing her eyes, Rey focused on regulating her breathing. Once she had done that, she laid back down on the cot, but didn't go back to sleep immediately. Instead she listened to the storm raging above her. The furious pitter patter of raindrops on the ship's exterior drummed serenity into her very core. The dream disturbed her. The sand on Jakku had always bothered her. It was inescapable and horrible. Swallowing loudly, she distantly recalled something else about the dream. A voice. It was . . . familiar. But it also felt wrong. Or, at least, not right. She couldn't put her finger on it, exactly, but she also didn't want to think too hard on the matter. It was, after all, just a dream. A bad one at that. She had no desire to contemplate its hidden meaning—if there even was one—now that she was blessfully awake.

The next night, Rey warily walked to her cot, thinking about last night's nightmare. She did not want a repeat performance so instead of going straight to sleep like she usually did, Rey closed her eyes and meditated. It seemed to work. Rey felt a small buzz spark throughout her body and the tightness in her chest lessened as any sense of fear for sleep peeled from her like dead skin. Security took its place, and lulled her in like a siren to a sailor.

 _"That's it, Rey," His voice ghosted against her psyche as He tried to coach her. It was calm and soothing, so unlike His actual voice which was deep and rough with age. She turned to look at Him but had to shield her eyes. Looking at Him was like looking at the sun. It made her eyes water and her brain hurt. Turning away she looked over at her task. She was lifting a large boulder and placing it on the top of a hill just with her mind. "Remember, trust in the Force."_

 _She did. She didn't know why, but she did. Letting out a deep breath, she closed her eyes and tapped into the space tucked in the back of her mind that hummed and buzzed with energy. It sprung to life easily, reaching out to her surroundings and grabbing onto the boulder for her. Another breath and the boulder was halfway up the hill. A bead of sweat rolled down her temple, leaving a small tickle in its wake, and distracted her from her task. The boulder crashed down to the ground and He sighed. It was a good sigh, though. He'd been holding His breath with anticipation. "Good job, Rey. You moved the boulder higher than yesterday. Maybe tomorrow you'll be able to reach the very top of the hill."_

 _"Yes, father."_

Sunlight snuck in between the cracks of her eyelids, waking Rey from her slumber. Yawning, she stretched and sat up. She realized with a small smile that she'd just had one of the best sleeps of her life and decided to mediate every night before she went to sleep from there on out.

A full two weeks after her arrival on the watery planet, and Rey had dreamed dream after dream, night after night. Rarely did she lose sleep over it, like the night she dreamed of the sand. Most of the dreams were fun, though. They told her stories of the skies of the creatures in the sea. Some even gave her small glimpses into her past—not that she could remember much details from those dreams come morning. She wondered if the storied she dreamed up had been told to her before by her those who'd loved her. It was wishful thinking, she knew, but couldn't—and wouldn't—help it. The idea filled her with a sense of family. A sense of familiarity.

Looking out at the ocean, Rey sat cross-legged on the stony beach trying to calm her mind into a meditative state. She'd been getting better with practice. It took her almost no time at all anymore to slip into the proper mentality. Still, Rey meditated mostly before sleeping, when her mind was worn out and tired. She hadn't properly tried meditating mid day before. Master Luke scolded her for it, saying that was no way to properly train.

Filling her lungs with air, and then slowly releasing the breath, she closed her eyes and listened to her surroundings. The waves crashed again and again against the shore, salt hawks screeched as they flew in circles above her, and Chewie could be heard crying out softly as he worked on the Millennium Falcon. Focusing her attention more inwards, Rey listened to the rhythmic beating of her heart, of the steady inhale and exhale of her breaths. She felt her hair tickle the side of her face as it twisted in the wind. It was then that she found it. The small ball of energy in the back of her mind that buzzed and hummed and made her feel so at peace, so warm, so _whole_. She thought it similar to meeting an old friend again after a long period of separation. She didn't want to tap into its power just yet. She just wanted to bask in it a little while longer. It was calming and felt like a much needed sonic after a long day of scavenging.

Tranquility, as strong as the waves against the shore, washed over her. Her shoulders lowered, her brow smoothed, and her jaw slackened from loss of tension.

 _"Come out, come out, wherever you are!" A voice called out in the distance. It was young and playful. Leaves rustled and shivered against each other as the owner of the voice searched the forest where Rey hid. Her hands were covering her mouth, trying to mask the loud panting noises she made. She'd ran as fast as she could, deep into the forest, trying to get as far away she could from her pursuer. Thirty seconds just wasn't enough time. "Rey!" The voice called out again, trying to goad her into replying. "Master Luke must be worried," he continued, his voice getting louder as he came closer. "We've been gone a long time now. Look, the sun's setting."_

 _She knew his game, though. He'd keep talking until he got her to make a noise, then he'd pounce on her and claim victory. Not this time though, she wouldn't allow it. Calming her breaths, she tried to make herself as small as possible by curling up into a ball. It was a mistake, though, she'd done something to catch his keen eyes or ears and next thing she knew she was being scooped up into a pair of thin but strong arms. "Found you!" He called out triumphantly._

 _"You cheated!" Rey accused baselessly. Her bottom lip jutting out in a pout. "You used the Force, didn't you?"_

 _He threw his head back and laughed. It was loud and caused a few birds to fly away from their perches in the trees. "I can't help it, Rey! You're like a homing beacon to me." He admitted. He grinned at her before pressing his forehead to hers. "It's not my fault, really. Forgive me?"_

 _Sighing and rolling her eyes, Rey couldn't hide a grin of her own, "Fine, I forgive you. Now put me down!" She began to struggle in his grasp._

 _"No," he told her cheekily, tightening his hold. "You're my prize!"_

 _"No I'm not!"_

 _"Oh yeah? Then what is my prize?"_

 _"Nothing! You cheated, remember?" She stuck her tongue out at him._

 _"What? Oh, that's it," he growled in a faux threatening manner. "You're gonna get it."_

 _"Wha—no! Stop!" She cried out with laughter as his long, slender fingers dug into the spaces between her ribs and began to tickle her relentlessly. "Stop, stop!" She wiggled around as she tried to escape his reach. "Put me down, put me down! Put me down,_ Ben Solo!"

Wrenching herself from the vision, Rey fell on the flat of her back. The smooth stones dug dully into her skin and pressed against the bones of her spine. They kept her body grounded as her mind reeled from the aftershock of her vision—no, she corrected herself. Not a vision. A memory. A memory of her and Ben Solo . . . Kylo Ren. "What?" She whispered the one word—the _only_ word she was able to verbalize. Her eyes stared ahead at the cloudy sky but saw nothing. Rey's mind was going through her life—all that she remembered of it, that is—with a fine toothed comb. She thought of her dreams, and wondered if they somehow tied in with the vision.

It didn't make sense. Her mouth was dry and it made swallowing difficult. Nothing made sense. What was happening to her? A loud cry from Chewie made her blink. Then she blinked again, several times, as she brought her mind back to the present. Standing up on unsteady feet, Rey walked back up the stone steps in a daze. She didn't know where her feet were taking her, and she didn't care. Pure instinct—and a steady hum in the back of her mind—led her.

"Rey?" Luke's raspy voice broke through. "Have you finished your meditation?" Blinking slowly, Rey looked around and found herself inside Luke's dwelling. When she didn't reply, he looked more closely at his Padawan. "Rey?" He called again, now standing before her. "Are you all right?"

Hesitating for only half a moment, Rey licked her lips nervously and told him, "I've been having these dreams . . ."

 **A/N: Reviews are much appreciated! Also, if anyone would like to submit a prompt, so long as it's SFW, I'd be happy to write it!**


	8. That Little Thing Called Hope

It was as easy as falling asleep sometimes, Rey thought as she took in her new austere surroundings. Meditating, reaching that higher plane Master Skywalker taught her about. Sometimes reaching it was as easy as falling asleep. Or as difficult. Sometimes taking hours to fall under its lulling spell. This time, though, this time it was easy. If Rey were thinking straight, she'd have wondered if perhaps nirvana has been _too_ easy to reach this time around. She wasn't thinking straight, though. No, her thoughts were scattered and wandering all over the place. Master Skywalker— _the_ _Luke Skywalker_ —was her father. Or, at least, the closest thing she'd ever had. She couldn't believe it, even now, even after the roaring fight they'd just had after she confronted him about it. He'd begged her to forgive him, pleaded with her to do so. And she'd left under a cloud of anger for the Millennium Falcon.

She'd tried to sleep it off, sleep off the anger and pain and pure frustration building in her chest, but oblivion would not come for her. Not while she was so hot headed. So she meditated, and now she was here. Wherever _here_ was. She looked around, but found nothing detailed enough to let her know where the Force had taken her mind. The walls were slate gray, metallic, so she was probably on a ship. There was a small bed tucked away in the corner of the room. It was meticulously made. No crease or wrinkle in the blanket or the single pillow. The word militaristic flashed through her head. On the other side of the room stood a book case filled to the brim with book and scrolls and maps in all different sorts of languages and from all across the galaxy.

She was flipping through a stack of maps—all detailing planets with desert regions—when she heard the door slide open behind her. Something snagged in her belly, something frail and thread like, frantically pulling at her and telling her to turn around. Frowning, Rey obeyed her instinct and came face to face with a man whose hair was as black as his robes, whose face, though normally so pale and cold, was flushed with a mixture of panic and excitement, whose eyes shined brighter as he took her in than any sun in the universe. "Rey," he exhaled shakily.

"Ben," she found herself whispering. A sharp pain shot into her brain, a lingering after effect of the mental block Luke had placed in her mind, and with it an added reminder of everything the person in front of her had done.

"Rey," his lips stretched into a tentative, awkward looking smile. It was almost as if his muscles forgot how to form one. He began to shake. Shake so much that for a moment Rey worried his atoms would shake apart and scatter into nothingness, but then he took a steady step forward, hand reaching out to caress her face, "Rey, you remember . . ."

She took a step back.

"Rey," he whispered her name again, almost like a prayer. His hand remained outstretched, frozen mid-air. "Rey, you remember. You remember me, don't you?" His eyes, so dark and yet so bright at the same time, begged her to say yes. Standing tall, Rey jerked her head yes. Yes, she did remember him. She remembered _everything_. There was no use lying to him about that. Releasing a strangled sob, Kylo Ren closed his eyes and trembled some more. When he opened his eyes again, he took another step towards her.

And again she backed away.

"You," she breathed out, her face twisting into something fierce. Something more terrifying than any Rathtar. Flames of pure, justified anger burned within her veins, burning her from the inside out. She was surprised she hadn't self combusted from the heat of it. "You _rutting bastard_!" She yelled, lunging at him with her hands outstretched, her nails ready to scratch, to maim, to dig into his eye sockets and _tear_ —

She passed right through him.

Spinning on her heel, Rey stared at him wide eyed, her shock overcoming her anger—temporarily, at least. "What—?"

"You're not," Kylo Ren began, almost brokenly now, "you're not really here. So we can't—you can't touch me." His shoulders curved inward, as if the thought had just occurred to him as well. The brightness in his eyes flickered, threatening to go out.

Snorting, Rey made a vulgar gesture and said, "Count your blessings." Closing her eyes, she began counting backwards in her head from one hundred, trying to pull her mind away from this place and back to her body on Ahch-To.

"No!" Kylo Ren screamed, red blotches marring his face. A thread—the thread she'd felt earlier within her belly, the one that had been so frail before and now seemed so strong, yanked her mind back into place like a snap of a whip. "You're not going anywhere!" He barred his teeth at her, his true face coming to light.

Yanking on her end of their psychic link—hard—she snarled right back and stepped up to growl into his face, "You couldn't keep me prisoner before, you think this time will be any different, Kylo Ren?"

All color seeped from his face. His muscles slackened and that light behind his eyes once again flickered as he whispered, "I can explain."

Another sharp pain to her brain. Luke had said the exact same thing to her earlier in the day after she'd confronted him. _I can explain_. Rey snorted harshly. Sure, they could explain . . . after being backed into a corner. "I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear another lie come out of your damned mouth. You're a monster," her voice trailed off to a deadly whisper. "You killed hundreds of innocent people, tortured thousands—and for what?"

"For you," he immediately said, his voice as low as hers. "It was all for you." His eyes peered into hers. Beseeching her to _believe_ him, to _forgive_ him.

Her body turned white hot with rage, "For me?" She scoffed. "What do you mean for me? I never asked for this. I never asked for _any_ of this! I didn't ask you to torture, to kill," she paused, taking in a deep breath. "How many have you killed, Kylo Ren?" She hissed, "Do you even know? Or did you stop keeping track? It wouldn't be surprising. Why should anyone be surprised, really," she taunted as she squared her feet before him, set back her shoulders and barred her teeth again. His breathing halted, his muscles locked into place as he awaited her next few words. "Considering you killed your own _father_."

He reeled back as if she'd struck him. He turned away and hid his face in his hands—an act of shame or an attempt to regain control of himself, Rey wasn't sure. His body was shaking again, but not from relief, or happiness, or _whatever_ he'd been feeling earlier. This time his body shook from barely contained rage. "You _stabbed_ your family in the back! You _mutilated_ Finn! You _slaughtered_ those children at the Academy—"

"I did what I had to!" Kylo Ren screamed, his face twisting into something dark, something primal and cruel as he turned back to Rey. If they'd physically been in the same room together, his spittle would have landed on her face.

"You _tortured_ me!" She bellowed back, tears of anger and sadness filming her vision. "You tried to destroy my mind—why should I believe you?"

"I was trying to _help_ you!" He implored. "I tried to unlock your memories! If you had just _let me in—_ "

" _Liar_!" Her voice cracked as she yelled and curled her hands into tight fists. She could feel the bite of her nails digging into the flesh of her palms, but didn't care. Her body shook with rage, her muscles wound up tightly, wanting to lunge, to attack. To hurt him as he'd hurt her. "You were trying to get the map! That's all you cared about—" she choked on a sob and was horrified to find tears running down her face and nose, but didn't stop her verbal attack, "—your stupid vengeance. What'd he ever do to—"

" _He took you away from me!_ " He roared, cutting her off. His face had turned completely red and the cords in his neck strained against his skin as he tried to make her understand. He was crying, too, she realized as she took in an unsteady breath.

Silence rang throughout the room as Rey and Kylo Ren stared at each other and tried to regain their breaths, both retreating to separate corners in the room. "What?" Rey whispered, shaking her head and she processed his words.

"Luke," Kylo Ren swallowed thickly, then released an uneven breath before averting his gaze and staring up at his ceiling. "Luke," he began again, "feared us. He feared what we'd become together. So he took you. _He stole you_. Everything that you were—it was like you had _died_ , Rey. I couldn't find you, couldn't feel you—I didn't know what to do." He dropped his head and returned his gaze to hers. What Rey found in his eyes wrecked her. He looked so broken. So lost. So much like that thirteen year old boy she'd found her very first day at the Academy. The link between them tugged at her.

She took a step forward.

That light in his eyes, the one that had all but died out during their fight, roared to life as he watched her approach. This time he knew better, this time he didn't reach out to her, or try to pull on their psychic link. This time he stood perfectly still, his chest barely even rising with the intake of his breath for fear of scaring her off, as he waited for her to come to him. Not for the first time during this encounter did Rey wish she could touch him. This time, though, it was not to hit or to maim, but to reach out and feel him. To feel that this person in front of her was real and human. To make certain that the young, wonderful boy she had known as a child was still inside of him somewhere.

She reached out a hand, slowly and with a slight tremor, and reached out to stroke his cheek, but quickly remembered herself and pulled back. His eyes clamped shut as he waited for the touch that would never come. "Rey," he whispered. It was such a broken sound. It's edges cutting every inch of her soul. "Please." He opened his eyes.

She took a step back.

Kylo Ren's brows furrowed as he watched her continue to back away from him. She cradled her hand—the one that'd almost touched him—to her chest and slowly shook her head. Rey's mind felt like it might split open from all the memories and thoughts whirling through her mind. Old memories of her and Ben playing together in forests and streams, training together in the Academy, laughing around food while surrounded by friends and family—all that clashed with the man she saw before her. Not Ben Solo, but Kylo Ren. A man who almost killed Finn, her most precious friend. A man who killed Han Solo—his own _father_ and someone who she almost considered the same. A man who'd slaughtered hundreds without second thought and would most likely continue to do so under the banner of the First Order. For her, he claimed. All for her. How many more lives would he destroy in her name, she wondered.

"I can't forgive you," she said with a steady voice. Her eyes began to blur again, but she stayed strong. "I cannot forgive you, Kylo Ren." The room around her began to fade, her backwards countdown almost complete. She saw comprehension and horror dawn on his face, felt the tug on their link and pushed it away. His head dropped in desolate resignation. He knew he couldn't force her to stay. She was almost gone now. She could feel her hands, her toes, her lungs as she took in deep, even breaths.

"But," she continued, watching as his head snapped up and their eyes met. Though her vision began to fade, her voice stayed strong, "Ben Solo . . . I might be able to forgive him."

She blinked and found herself back on the Millennium Falcon. Rolling her neck, trying to ease the knots, she thought about what she had just done. She thought about what Luke would do if he knew. Maybe he'd try to lock her mind away again, maybe not. But, she decided as she looked up to the ceiling, she'd given Ben Solo hope, and no one should be denied that.

 **A/N: The reunion is finally here! This chapter is so angsty, I love it! Idk what the next chapter where be or if I'll continue but this is def my fav. Please let me know what you thought and review!**


End file.
